65 days of static was really good
The only thing that let them down was the venue. It’s an exam hall. So the acoustics are shit and they’re a bit of distortion. That got sorted after a while though. Credit to the sound guy.
Support was from tired irie and youthmovies. Now to be fir I'm like most people and don’t give support bands much of a chance. I have a listen to a few songs, and if there shocking go to the bar. Tired irie where the first on and they where pretty good, the vocals where the sort of retro but modern 80’s feel thing that’s quite popular right now and it not my favourite thing but it worked. Younthmoves where pretty dire tho. They all looked like they where from different bands and they had “written” their songs 10 mins before going on. The lead bloke had an under cut and would have been the ugly one in a band like the ordinary boys. The rhythm. Looked like a 16 year old grunge/ metal wannbe. Drummer looked like their 40 year old uncle; bass looked like the longhaired jacked other tee shirt. Think rimmed black glasses mature student. Than the trumpet player looked like the gay evil little brother in wedding crashes only blonde. And each of their songs seemed to have 6 or 7 different songs in them, changing rhythm and stile total. And it just didn’t work. Like having 5 tapes set up to play in the middle of a random song on each the randomly play them in order. Then they would just stop and then all start shouting but no into their mics. It was pretty poor.
I also did my normal bump into the bad before the gig. Where I look at them and they look at me not knowing whether I’m a crazed fool or not. And weather I’m going to ask them for an autograph or ask them for there skin so I can make a suit. But I just say hi and ignore them, for that is the done thing.
65 days of static are rapidly become one of my favrote ever bands. Post rock is a strange crowed. Everyone just zones out. There is no mosh pit, just a bit of involuntary head bobbing and a few people wavering their arms. You almost zone out so much you forget to clap. So I imagine the band thinks everyone hates them but the better they do, the less crowed response. The drummer is amazing. and the whole band swapping between there instremts and sequencesers and samplers was cool.
I also saw a front ass woman today! It could have been the daughter of the original front assed woman
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
You don’t choose the music you like it chooses you
Tonight I’m off to see 65 days of static. http://www.65daysofstatic.com/
It’s going to be a mad rush. I hate doing things after work. The driving rush. Then being relent on public transport and drunk. Or driving and having to drive park and all the complications there. Recently I couldn’t go to London to see Richard herring for these reasons.
Today was going to be different. Monday night. Got Tuesday off. Its in Southampton . Traffic permitting ill get there around 7 it starts 7 :30. So all should be fine. I had a place to stay so I could get merry. But then I noticed I have the dentist tomorrow at 9:15. So looks like in sober and having a drive home after. But it’s only Southampton, so it’s not all bad. I defiantly can’t go to the dentist and breath rotting beer fumes at him. As funny as that would be it just not the done thing.
In my life most of the music you like, or bands you like have been showed to you by someone else. This in not including stuff you see on mtv or whatever kids get up to these days
I hardly listen to the radio. Maybe 5 hours a year, and at one point on a drunken state I was thinking about if I had a band how I would cross aphex twin with a rock band. And I hit the radio button on my mobile phone by accident. And there it was. 65 days of static snare rushes and guitars exactly as I wanted. I herd the end of a live radio show. And I was hooked. 9 am I order their LP. The fall of math and I have every LP they have made since. Threw a randomness I found them. And I have been waiting a good long time to see them live. And tonight it is. I hope they live up to my expectations. And I’m shure they will.
That will be another band I can cross of my list of I have to see. Witch is good. Because too many have broken up and I will never get the chance. Eg cold
Maybe if I listen to the radio more ill find more music to love. But then I'm a musical snob and hate new bands.
i have been a bit confuse by my thoughts and actions latley, made some desisions done some things not done some things, well you have stick up for your prinsaples no matter how wrong they are. let the music choose you and let is sooth you.
tha sounded a bit emo didnt it.
Tonight I’m off to see 65 days of static. http://www.65daysofstatic.com/
It’s going to be a mad rush. I hate doing things after work. The driving rush. Then being relent on public transport and drunk. Or driving and having to drive park and all the complications there. Recently I couldn’t go to London to see Richard herring for these reasons.
Today was going to be different. Monday night. Got Tuesday off. Its in Southampton . Traffic permitting ill get there around 7 it starts 7 :30. So all should be fine. I had a place to stay so I could get merry. But then I noticed I have the dentist tomorrow at 9:15. So looks like in sober and having a drive home after. But it’s only Southampton, so it’s not all bad. I defiantly can’t go to the dentist and breath rotting beer fumes at him. As funny as that would be it just not the done thing.
In my life most of the music you like, or bands you like have been showed to you by someone else. This in not including stuff you see on mtv or whatever kids get up to these days
I hardly listen to the radio. Maybe 5 hours a year, and at one point on a drunken state I was thinking about if I had a band how I would cross aphex twin with a rock band. And I hit the radio button on my mobile phone by accident. And there it was. 65 days of static snare rushes and guitars exactly as I wanted. I herd the end of a live radio show. And I was hooked. 9 am I order their LP. The fall of math and I have every LP they have made since. Threw a randomness I found them. And I have been waiting a good long time to see them live. And tonight it is. I hope they live up to my expectations. And I’m shure they will.
That will be another band I can cross of my list of I have to see. Witch is good. Because too many have broken up and I will never get the chance. Eg cold
Maybe if I listen to the radio more ill find more music to love. But then I'm a musical snob and hate new bands.
i have been a bit confuse by my thoughts and actions latley, made some desisions done some things not done some things, well you have stick up for your prinsaples no matter how wrong they are. let the music choose you and let is sooth you.
tha sounded a bit emo didnt it.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Kamikaze flies
My eyes are fucking magnets to debris. If there is something airborne in a not to long time scale it will hit me in one or both the eyes. The small the object the more likely to hit me in the most inappropriate time. This is probably one of the reasons I were glasses pretty much all the time when I’m out. Well today I was hit by a fly or something it was hard to tell what it was from its remains. When I was in mid stride across the road with on coming traffic. Splat! (The fly in my eye, not me and the car silly). Will that was a possibility as I was temporally blinded. (ohh my god there s a strange kin “moon walking” down the street. Anyhoo. I was in traffic blind. Lucky work was just round the corner. Then I spent 10 mins picking the little fuckers wings off my eyeball. Do you know how hard it is to do that? The wings are so thin they just mould to the surface of our eyes and stick there. Well you pick them off and take half your eye with it. Then I spend the rest of the day praying I don’t get an eye infection, coz I cant work if I have one. And because im a hypochondriac thinking ive got one and psychosomatic feeling its imaginary symptoms
My eyes are fucking magnets to debris. If there is something airborne in a not to long time scale it will hit me in one or both the eyes. The small the object the more likely to hit me in the most inappropriate time. This is probably one of the reasons I were glasses pretty much all the time when I’m out. Well today I was hit by a fly or something it was hard to tell what it was from its remains. When I was in mid stride across the road with on coming traffic. Splat! (The fly in my eye, not me and the car silly). Will that was a possibility as I was temporally blinded. (ohh my god there s a strange kin “moon walking” down the street. Anyhoo. I was in traffic blind. Lucky work was just round the corner. Then I spent 10 mins picking the little fuckers wings off my eyeball. Do you know how hard it is to do that? The wings are so thin they just mould to the surface of our eyes and stick there. Well you pick them off and take half your eye with it. Then I spend the rest of the day praying I don’t get an eye infection, coz I cant work if I have one. And because im a hypochondriac thinking ive got one and psychosomatic feeling its imaginary symptoms
Thursday, October 11, 2007
breacfast is hard
in aldershot there is a little cafe and they make me bacon sandwedges but in farnbro, there sainsburys.
ready made sandwedges are userly just condesced mayo. so i try to avoid.
some one at work has left a toster here , so i have been haveing bagles.
but today i fancyed some crumpets
i dont like buying crumpets bucause they need butter and a block of butter get total wasted basicly because i only need a little bit and i come in a block the size of a brick.
so i dodnt usely buy them. thats the kind of man i am id rather by more expencive smaller food as to avoid wasting it.
anyhoo today i relly wanted crumpets. grabbed theos and the smallest packet of butter i could.
the toast them butter on, humm somthing strange
i have managed to buy faulty crumpets. they have no holes in.
and yes they are crmpets before you go thinking ive got tea cakes insted. i know my toasty food stuffs
faulty crumpets
in aldershot there is a little cafe and they make me bacon sandwedges but in farnbro, there sainsburys.
ready made sandwedges are userly just condesced mayo. so i try to avoid.
some one at work has left a toster here , so i have been haveing bagles.
but today i fancyed some crumpets
i dont like buying crumpets bucause they need butter and a block of butter get total wasted basicly because i only need a little bit and i come in a block the size of a brick.
so i dodnt usely buy them. thats the kind of man i am id rather by more expencive smaller food as to avoid wasting it.
anyhoo today i relly wanted crumpets. grabbed theos and the smallest packet of butter i could.
the toast them butter on, humm somthing strange
i have managed to buy faulty crumpets. they have no holes in.
and yes they are crmpets before you go thinking ive got tea cakes insted. i know my toasty food stuffs
faulty crumpets
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
For fucks sake. (warning long post and i havnt had a chance to spell check it)
In Aldershot as in every town, there is a type of people, these people are a waste of space and there is only I way to deal with them, very carefully
They have been in the pub from 10 am, then the go to the bookies then back to the pub. 3pm they deside they best do what they where going to do today.
I used to be able to identify them by the smell of smoke. Now that’s gone the smell of booze is harder to smell.
I guy comes in faintly smelling of alcahol, and pauses before he talks for too long to be normal. Warning go off in my head.
“mate …. Mate I want my eyes tested”
“ok sir … I can book you in”
long pause
“so not now then”
“im sorry I don’t have any avalble appointments until next week” (I lie)
long pause
“cant I just buy some glasses…………………. Ill pay”
“im sorry it dosnt work like that. We. Need to doo an eyete..”
“look mate cant I just try a few on and see wich work I don’t care”
“no the NEED to be made”
“well I can try them……. Coz my eyes have gone funny” at this point he point to his own eye and almost stabes his finger drunkenly into his brain
“got to do a test it’s the way it works” (plese stab yourself)
then theres a long pause where he looks at me confused and unhappy then the expression change to that of a drunk about to rainbow yawn.
He ssems to regain control of him self, as I look discussed and slightly worried about the thought of 1 dodgeing his vomit then having to kick him in, and then mop it up.
“can I have some water”
“no” (probably a bit rude of me)
“what?”
“no I haven’t got any” (I lie again)
“what?”
“look theres a news agents next door”
“well what do you drink then?”
well… coke from next door” (obouse lie to anyone that knows me)
he looks at me confused and then a bit more annoyed the stats giving me his phone number I jot it down on a scrap of paper then throw it in thebin. With him still sitting there infront of me. He fails to notice
“you’ll give me a call then?”
“yep”
then he starts to reach slowly into his pocket. Mental I start to think about what it would be like to punch him if it was nessery. Will technicly its nessery now but that’s just my opinion, so nessery buy self defence starndards. He pulls out a red post office come and get your parsell coz you wherent in thing he drunkenly flips it over and over in his hands
“you know the {mumble} started 8 {mumble}”
“what?”
“the premership”
“ohh right”
“yeah well the sun {mumble}” (says a lot I understand none of it apart from the guess that maybe hes order something about foot ball from the sun news paper)
I nod and he contiues to mumble
Then I make my mestake. I try to be funny
“sods law about the post strike then”
“what?”
“well you have to get it and there a strike on?”
“its taken the 8 games worth of time to send it to me”
“and sods law it arrives in the middle of a postal strike” (this few lines get repeted a few times with the guy getting more and more annoyed)
“do you want to read the form”
“no thank you”
“well it says its here”
“yeah but aint they closed from 12 as the strikes started again”
“its taken them 8 weeks to send it to me”
“and its sods law its arrived now”
“look the fuck form says its at the sorting office”
“that’s lovely but isn’t it closed”
“what?”
“coz there is a strike on”
“well its cost me £2.73 to get here”
“right…..” I just look at him funny
“well sir mr ive got a tie… I phoned them”
“ok “
“coz im older than you”
“that’s nice for you then isn’t it” (a bit to sarcastic for my own good)
he gets up and kicks the chair, as a girl probably only 15-16 comes in. he starts making faces behind her back like a pedophile. And winking at her. Thankfully she oblivouse to all this. He walks out the door and looks threw the window at me and her talking making sagestive facees.
The girl hands over some old specs for charity. And goes to leave
“wait a minuet”
the girl looks panicy at me “?”
“that guy is pissed out of his head just wait a second for him to go”
“ohh ok….. hes probuly been in my mums charity shop”
I look at the bloke and he walks off
“thanks ill put thses in the carty box” and she leaves
on lighter notes
stuwart lee was brillent, if you have the chance see hit 41st best standup ever show. Also had a surprisingly good walm up act of Stephen carlin.
I hate shoe shopping with a passion you can only dream of. So I had to buy some shoes to play badminton in that don’t mark the floor. Coz this monkey on a power trip at the sports hall always thinks I haven’t payed and that a liitle bit of black rubber on the floor (witch I didn’t put there) constitutes criminal damage
I went to socour sport or what ever they are called this week in blazingstoke. It’s a aladins cave of diccount sweatshop merchendise. My rules for shoe shoping are as follows
Rule 1. done go shoe shoping
If this rule gets broken then go to rule set b
1.b swifness is the key take no longer than 5 mins or I will snap
2.b only try on shoe that are in my size on the shelf to avoid picking something I hate slightly less than everything else only to find its not available.
3.b pick pay get out AAAAAAHHHHH I fucking hate shoe shoping
now anys techneque is very different. He like to fucking do everything possbale to the shoe before he buys it, he practicly had a clip bord and was giving the shoe marks out of 10 at different paced walks. He was then extramly upset when the 5 mins where up, and I angrly shouted fuck it this is taking too long and picked up a random shoe put it on and then went that will do. Leaving him holding a pair that I said where comfier. “But there are more compy.” “Couldn’t give a fuck this shit is taking to long” “but but but” “but what a shoe is a shoe” “but you have to buy the most compy nomater what the cost” “ill brake them in”
all the time in the que he said he felt sad for me.
I got home and my sister being a girl likes shoes. I hate them buy the way, and feet. She opened them expecting my noram air walk deck shoes, and was met by a brillent white trainer. She laughed for a full minuet then almost hyperventilated. “there quie nice” I continued to frown at her “no relly” “why you laughting then?” “was it?” “look there just for badminton and they need to be white so the don’t mark the floor” “of you counsel estate” “no the sports hall”
Thej she moans at my mother for 45 mins about the army open show day she been on. Shes been sat in the rain for hours. Whej some one came up and asked if she had enjoyed her day she said. “if I wanded to wach army stuff I would have stayed at home with a cup of tea and watched saving private ryan” the person that asked her was stood next to a major
In Aldershot as in every town, there is a type of people, these people are a waste of space and there is only I way to deal with them, very carefully
They have been in the pub from 10 am, then the go to the bookies then back to the pub. 3pm they deside they best do what they where going to do today.
I used to be able to identify them by the smell of smoke. Now that’s gone the smell of booze is harder to smell.
I guy comes in faintly smelling of alcahol, and pauses before he talks for too long to be normal. Warning go off in my head.
“mate …. Mate I want my eyes tested”
“ok sir … I can book you in”
long pause
“so not now then”
“im sorry I don’t have any avalble appointments until next week” (I lie)
long pause
“cant I just buy some glasses…………………. Ill pay”
“im sorry it dosnt work like that. We. Need to doo an eyete..”
“look mate cant I just try a few on and see wich work I don’t care”
“no the NEED to be made”
“well I can try them……. Coz my eyes have gone funny” at this point he point to his own eye and almost stabes his finger drunkenly into his brain
“got to do a test it’s the way it works” (plese stab yourself)
then theres a long pause where he looks at me confused and unhappy then the expression change to that of a drunk about to rainbow yawn.
He ssems to regain control of him self, as I look discussed and slightly worried about the thought of 1 dodgeing his vomit then having to kick him in, and then mop it up.
“can I have some water”
“no” (probably a bit rude of me)
“what?”
“no I haven’t got any” (I lie again)
“what?”
“look theres a news agents next door”
“well what do you drink then?”
well… coke from next door” (obouse lie to anyone that knows me)
he looks at me confused and then a bit more annoyed the stats giving me his phone number I jot it down on a scrap of paper then throw it in thebin. With him still sitting there infront of me. He fails to notice
“you’ll give me a call then?”
“yep”
then he starts to reach slowly into his pocket. Mental I start to think about what it would be like to punch him if it was nessery. Will technicly its nessery now but that’s just my opinion, so nessery buy self defence starndards. He pulls out a red post office come and get your parsell coz you wherent in thing he drunkenly flips it over and over in his hands
“you know the {mumble} started 8 {mumble}”
“what?”
“the premership”
“ohh right”
“yeah well the sun {mumble}” (says a lot I understand none of it apart from the guess that maybe hes order something about foot ball from the sun news paper)
I nod and he contiues to mumble
Then I make my mestake. I try to be funny
“sods law about the post strike then”
“what?”
“well you have to get it and there a strike on?”
“its taken the 8 games worth of time to send it to me”
“and sods law it arrives in the middle of a postal strike” (this few lines get repeted a few times with the guy getting more and more annoyed)
“do you want to read the form”
“no thank you”
“well it says its here”
“yeah but aint they closed from 12 as the strikes started again”
“its taken them 8 weeks to send it to me”
“and its sods law its arrived now”
“look the fuck form says its at the sorting office”
“that’s lovely but isn’t it closed”
“what?”
“coz there is a strike on”
“well its cost me £2.73 to get here”
“right…..” I just look at him funny
“well sir mr ive got a tie… I phoned them”
“ok “
“coz im older than you”
“that’s nice for you then isn’t it” (a bit to sarcastic for my own good)
he gets up and kicks the chair, as a girl probably only 15-16 comes in. he starts making faces behind her back like a pedophile. And winking at her. Thankfully she oblivouse to all this. He walks out the door and looks threw the window at me and her talking making sagestive facees.
The girl hands over some old specs for charity. And goes to leave
“wait a minuet”
the girl looks panicy at me “?”
“that guy is pissed out of his head just wait a second for him to go”
“ohh ok….. hes probuly been in my mums charity shop”
I look at the bloke and he walks off
“thanks ill put thses in the carty box” and she leaves
on lighter notes
stuwart lee was brillent, if you have the chance see hit 41st best standup ever show. Also had a surprisingly good walm up act of Stephen carlin.
I hate shoe shopping with a passion you can only dream of. So I had to buy some shoes to play badminton in that don’t mark the floor. Coz this monkey on a power trip at the sports hall always thinks I haven’t payed and that a liitle bit of black rubber on the floor (witch I didn’t put there) constitutes criminal damage
I went to socour sport or what ever they are called this week in blazingstoke. It’s a aladins cave of diccount sweatshop merchendise. My rules for shoe shoping are as follows
Rule 1. done go shoe shoping
If this rule gets broken then go to rule set b
1.b swifness is the key take no longer than 5 mins or I will snap
2.b only try on shoe that are in my size on the shelf to avoid picking something I hate slightly less than everything else only to find its not available.
3.b pick pay get out AAAAAAHHHHH I fucking hate shoe shoping
now anys techneque is very different. He like to fucking do everything possbale to the shoe before he buys it, he practicly had a clip bord and was giving the shoe marks out of 10 at different paced walks. He was then extramly upset when the 5 mins where up, and I angrly shouted fuck it this is taking too long and picked up a random shoe put it on and then went that will do. Leaving him holding a pair that I said where comfier. “But there are more compy.” “Couldn’t give a fuck this shit is taking to long” “but but but” “but what a shoe is a shoe” “but you have to buy the most compy nomater what the cost” “ill brake them in”
all the time in the que he said he felt sad for me.
I got home and my sister being a girl likes shoes. I hate them buy the way, and feet. She opened them expecting my noram air walk deck shoes, and was met by a brillent white trainer. She laughed for a full minuet then almost hyperventilated. “there quie nice” I continued to frown at her “no relly” “why you laughting then?” “was it?” “look there just for badminton and they need to be white so the don’t mark the floor” “of you counsel estate” “no the sports hall”
Thej she moans at my mother for 45 mins about the army open show day she been on. Shes been sat in the rain for hours. Whej some one came up and asked if she had enjoyed her day she said. “if I wanded to wach army stuff I would have stayed at home with a cup of tea and watched saving private ryan” the person that asked her was stood next to a major
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Phycadelic yucky flu and finishing the fight
Ive contracted evil man flu, and for the first time in a long time I have had a day off. Technically it was two, but one of them was my day off. Bless my dad he looks after me shivering and sweating and full of snot I was as much a danger to the world market on tissue paper as much as a was to computer generated aliens.
I finished the fight and the fight finished pretty much as I expected. Halo 1 starts with you coming out of deep sleep and in the end you return to it like king arther ready to be awoken the next time humanity needs you. Its all quite infesting the way they have a sort of mash mash of the bible and different cultures mythology sort of running behind the main story. I have to admit I was expecting a twist. And what I thought for a second was going to be an amazing one, wasn’t. So I think they missed a bit of a trick there. I’m not going into it all here as I may spoil the game for you. Saying that my readership is probably only 2 people and neither are interested in video games. Stewart lee this weekend, woot! Lets hope I have stopped sneezing and snotting
Right better get back to raising the share price of galaxo-smith-kline
Ive contracted evil man flu, and for the first time in a long time I have had a day off. Technically it was two, but one of them was my day off. Bless my dad he looks after me shivering and sweating and full of snot I was as much a danger to the world market on tissue paper as much as a was to computer generated aliens.
I finished the fight and the fight finished pretty much as I expected. Halo 1 starts with you coming out of deep sleep and in the end you return to it like king arther ready to be awoken the next time humanity needs you. Its all quite infesting the way they have a sort of mash mash of the bible and different cultures mythology sort of running behind the main story. I have to admit I was expecting a twist. And what I thought for a second was going to be an amazing one, wasn’t. So I think they missed a bit of a trick there. I’m not going into it all here as I may spoil the game for you. Saying that my readership is probably only 2 people and neither are interested in video games. Stewart lee this weekend, woot! Lets hope I have stopped sneezing and snotting
Right better get back to raising the share price of galaxo-smith-kline
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Well the weekend was fun nice to talk shit with the chizz again, she shouldn’t go away so much, coz it makes kev lonely and I have no access to my attorney.
I actually lost my rag in a comedy way, I was camping up my anger, but I was being kecked awake every 2 mins for the best part of 3 hours to play Mario party. With was quite litry hell on earth and I kept being forced to go up the exhaust vent. With is not taking crack fuck knows where someone got that from. It’s a kid’s game.
I finally got my phone back. Well I got a replacement, so I have lost everything. So if everyone would be kind enough to txt me there numbers I would be grateful. Or if you don’t, you won’t get txt inviting to out because I need people to sit near me with I destroy my liver.
Halo 3 is not too shabby. What is shabby is the fucking box. The normal box is fine. No drama there. But the collectors edition that is 10 sterlings more. Include a making of disk and a hardback book and a few odds and sods. The problem is some dumb got the idea to not use the same kind of spools like a normal dvd box.. You know the bit you push and pop the disk on. With this just has a metal peg. That doesn’t compress like plastic. So you eather have to force the disc on, causing damage to the hole in the disk. Or it falls off. With everyone one of them has done in transit. The disk is free inside the metal tin with only the metal peg to rum against. So you 50 sterlings get you a nice book and a few odds and sod but the most important part is now about as good a as beer mat. Microsoft are doing a fill in a for and send off you disk and get a free replacement. But fuck that is going to take a min of a week with all the postage.
Not only do they have a consaul that was built from second rate. Nay a 9th rate part that dies, they get the most anticipated game of all time (so far) and make it so the packaging damages the product. As if the fucking machine isn’t going to do that for you aswell. I just hope it all holds together wilst I finish the fight.
I actually lost my rag in a comedy way, I was camping up my anger, but I was being kecked awake every 2 mins for the best part of 3 hours to play Mario party. With was quite litry hell on earth and I kept being forced to go up the exhaust vent. With is not taking crack fuck knows where someone got that from. It’s a kid’s game.
I finally got my phone back. Well I got a replacement, so I have lost everything. So if everyone would be kind enough to txt me there numbers I would be grateful. Or if you don’t, you won’t get txt inviting to out because I need people to sit near me with I destroy my liver.
Halo 3 is not too shabby. What is shabby is the fucking box. The normal box is fine. No drama there. But the collectors edition that is 10 sterlings more. Include a making of disk and a hardback book and a few odds and sods. The problem is some dumb got the idea to not use the same kind of spools like a normal dvd box.. You know the bit you push and pop the disk on. With this just has a metal peg. That doesn’t compress like plastic. So you eather have to force the disc on, causing damage to the hole in the disk. Or it falls off. With everyone one of them has done in transit. The disk is free inside the metal tin with only the metal peg to rum against. So you 50 sterlings get you a nice book and a few odds and sod but the most important part is now about as good a as beer mat. Microsoft are doing a fill in a for and send off you disk and get a free replacement. But fuck that is going to take a min of a week with all the postage.
Not only do they have a consaul that was built from second rate. Nay a 9th rate part that dies, they get the most anticipated game of all time (so far) and make it so the packaging damages the product. As if the fucking machine isn’t going to do that for you aswell. I just hope it all holds together wilst I finish the fight.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
“Come on Harry time to get up and go to work”
“eeee…..rrgggg”
“You better leave early there’s a fog on”
“Arse”
“Yeah looks bad”
“Cock it”
“ohh your brother “got” loads of bacon again”
“tut… thieving gypo”
“Well iv cooked loads of it, it’s in the fridge.. Have some for lunch will you”
“Oh so I can be apart of this dastardly crime and eat the evidence”
“Yes Harry, well there's bacon if you want some”
“How’s about you pop some bread and some bacon in a lunch box for me and ill have a bacon sarney for breakfast”
“Ok no problem”
“Thanks mum, ill find you a nice old people home when the time comes”
“tut……”
I get to work open my lunchbox. Expecting cooked bacon to heat up and bread. Instead I find 4 slices of raw bacon,
That home is not going to be so good, and the time is sooner than she thinks
“eeee…..rrgggg”
“You better leave early there’s a fog on”
“Arse”
“Yeah looks bad”
“Cock it”
“ohh your brother “got” loads of bacon again”
“tut… thieving gypo”
“Well iv cooked loads of it, it’s in the fridge.. Have some for lunch will you”
“Oh so I can be apart of this dastardly crime and eat the evidence”
“Yes Harry, well there's bacon if you want some”
“How’s about you pop some bread and some bacon in a lunch box for me and ill have a bacon sarney for breakfast”
“Ok no problem”
“Thanks mum, ill find you a nice old people home when the time comes”
“tut……”
I get to work open my lunchbox. Expecting cooked bacon to heat up and bread. Instead I find 4 slices of raw bacon,
That home is not going to be so good, and the time is sooner than she thinks
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Mischief hat was on this morning,
Phone prank time, me with my best generic angry northern with a hint of Scottish or Irish. The only good angry accent I can do. And over the phone when doing this I sound late 40’s apparently. I don’t do this voice to much, coz a. I don’t want to over use it and b. its takes me about 10 mins to warm up. But I almost ran over my friend on the way to work, and that gave me 10 mins to warm up and thing of the prank. Hes just started as a postman.
“Hullo. Is that Anthony Pryor?” (he hates being called Anthony)
“er… well yes …. Actually its Tony…. Who’s this?”
“ This is Tommy Johnson of the royal mail complaints committee”
(Slight panic in voice) “Ok really”
“I'm afraid we have had a complaint about you this morning”
(More panic)”really?”
“I’m afraid it’s quite serious”
(Absolute panic now)”you’re joking”
“You have been spotted in upper hale staggering and driving your bike erratically leading people to complain that you appear drunk and extremely dangerous to traffic”
“What! Oh my god….”
“Yes! So I am have to request you come in for a mandatory drugs test the results of witch will determine the continuation of your employment”
“Ohh my god you’re joking right?”
“Hi Tony.”
“Fuck its you Harry. Shit mate you had me really going I’m shitting myself”
“ohh sorry dude. Saw you this morning and nearly hit you with my car”
“Today’s my second day of this new round and its about 3 times as long as my last and people are moaning that I deliver at a different time to the old post man… having a really bad day”
“Ohh sorry mate it was just coincidence”
“Don’t be sorry mate you where brilliant had no idea it was you. Made me shit myself”
his revenge will be along shortly
Phone prank time, me with my best generic angry northern with a hint of Scottish or Irish. The only good angry accent I can do. And over the phone when doing this I sound late 40’s apparently. I don’t do this voice to much, coz a. I don’t want to over use it and b. its takes me about 10 mins to warm up. But I almost ran over my friend on the way to work, and that gave me 10 mins to warm up and thing of the prank. Hes just started as a postman.
“Hullo. Is that Anthony Pryor?” (he hates being called Anthony)
“er… well yes …. Actually its Tony…. Who’s this?”
“ This is Tommy Johnson of the royal mail complaints committee”
(Slight panic in voice) “Ok really”
“I'm afraid we have had a complaint about you this morning”
(More panic)”really?”
“I’m afraid it’s quite serious”
(Absolute panic now)”you’re joking”
“You have been spotted in upper hale staggering and driving your bike erratically leading people to complain that you appear drunk and extremely dangerous to traffic”
“What! Oh my god….”
“Yes! So I am have to request you come in for a mandatory drugs test the results of witch will determine the continuation of your employment”
“Ohh my god you’re joking right?”
“Hi Tony.”
“Fuck its you Harry. Shit mate you had me really going I’m shitting myself”
“ohh sorry dude. Saw you this morning and nearly hit you with my car”
“Today’s my second day of this new round and its about 3 times as long as my last and people are moaning that I deliver at a different time to the old post man… having a really bad day”
“Ohh sorry mate it was just coincidence”
“Don’t be sorry mate you where brilliant had no idea it was you. Made me shit myself”
his revenge will be along shortly
Monday, September 17, 2007
Getting rambo’d up
I do enjoy a spot of paintball. I’m userly I'm quite good. Yesterday I sucked. The first 5 games went by and I hadn’t even got a kill. Is was going a “ron” for those who are not familiar with ron. Hes a fucking paint ball magnet. First game a stray shot pops onside the hut I was in a hits my gun. I’m out. Second game I run up to a barrier, didn’t even get to fire and a 1 in a million shit goes threw the 2 cm hole I’m looking threw and hits me striate between the eyes. 20 second into the game. I’m out. I take a hit to the head when running upto a barrier it was a lucky long shot, and I got hit in the mouth from a curling shot of much luckiness. I started to feel like I was doomed to be the new ron. Then when my own team shot me in the back I knew soothing was up. I did manage to get my act together and score some kills. In one game I got 5 and it distracted me from all the new lumps I have on my head. And the lovely taste of paint in my mouth. I think the main tip of the day was, weeks before the paintball don’t photo shop pictures of the bloke who has his own gun and is a bit scary with pictures of manatees in varouse poses once a day on his website forum. They wanted to gaffer tape me up and shoot me. But god bless health and safety they weren’t allowed. So I got shot a lot sans gaffer tape. He also put a smoke grenade in my belt and set it off. Worst of all was the “stray” shot that hit me in the nuts!
Paintball I love it
Ohh and Donna shouted in a foghorn loud voice “ohh my guns stopped working” when se was in combat. Then she unsprisingly got bundled.
I do enjoy a spot of paintball. I’m userly I'm quite good. Yesterday I sucked. The first 5 games went by and I hadn’t even got a kill. Is was going a “ron” for those who are not familiar with ron. Hes a fucking paint ball magnet. First game a stray shot pops onside the hut I was in a hits my gun. I’m out. Second game I run up to a barrier, didn’t even get to fire and a 1 in a million shit goes threw the 2 cm hole I’m looking threw and hits me striate between the eyes. 20 second into the game. I’m out. I take a hit to the head when running upto a barrier it was a lucky long shot, and I got hit in the mouth from a curling shot of much luckiness. I started to feel like I was doomed to be the new ron. Then when my own team shot me in the back I knew soothing was up. I did manage to get my act together and score some kills. In one game I got 5 and it distracted me from all the new lumps I have on my head. And the lovely taste of paint in my mouth. I think the main tip of the day was, weeks before the paintball don’t photo shop pictures of the bloke who has his own gun and is a bit scary with pictures of manatees in varouse poses once a day on his website forum. They wanted to gaffer tape me up and shoot me. But god bless health and safety they weren’t allowed. So I got shot a lot sans gaffer tape. He also put a smoke grenade in my belt and set it off. Worst of all was the “stray” shot that hit me in the nuts!
Paintball I love it
Ohh and Donna shouted in a foghorn loud voice “ohh my guns stopped working” when se was in combat. Then she unsprisingly got bundled.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Smashing your face into a brick wall
There are days at work where if feels like I am. People on the whole are stupid. I mean really stupid. Unable to understand the most simple of basic premises.
“I cant read the book”
“Put on your reading glasses….. Ok can you read it now”
“Yes…. But now I cant see across the road”
“That’s because you have your reading glasses on take them off… can you see across the road now”
“Yes but now I cant see the book”
No joke this goes on for about 20 mins
“Sir if you want to see anything in your hands put on the reading glasses….. If you want to see anything further than arms length away take them off”
“But the closer thing are to me the bluryer they are”
“Yes that why I have made you some reading glasses”
“But I can’t see across the road with them”
“That’s because they are for reading”
“But I don’t read much”
“Ok there not just for reading they are for near vision.”
“What’s that?”
“Looking at anything close up”
“Like number plates”
“No not like number plates, I would hope they being on cars are further than arms length away from you. Don’t drive with them on”
“I don’t drive anyway, my cars only done 3 miles”
“Yeah yeah ok… so have you understood what the glasses are for now?”
“Is there anyway you can make some glasses that bake the distance closer”
At this point I just ignore him for the sake of my sanity and temper and push him out the door
The next woman in says that she got dubble vision. But only if she has her glasses on and if she has 1 eye shut. To have dubble vision you need two eyes. Unless there is something really wrong with you but that would be all the time, not just with her glasses on.
I phone a colige for advice.
“Be nice to her, she’s and idiot”
What a fucking morning…(so far)
There are days at work where if feels like I am. People on the whole are stupid. I mean really stupid. Unable to understand the most simple of basic premises.
“I cant read the book”
“Put on your reading glasses….. Ok can you read it now”
“Yes…. But now I cant see across the road”
“That’s because you have your reading glasses on take them off… can you see across the road now”
“Yes but now I cant see the book”
No joke this goes on for about 20 mins
“Sir if you want to see anything in your hands put on the reading glasses….. If you want to see anything further than arms length away take them off”
“But the closer thing are to me the bluryer they are”
“Yes that why I have made you some reading glasses”
“But I can’t see across the road with them”
“That’s because they are for reading”
“But I don’t read much”
“Ok there not just for reading they are for near vision.”
“What’s that?”
“Looking at anything close up”
“Like number plates”
“No not like number plates, I would hope they being on cars are further than arms length away from you. Don’t drive with them on”
“I don’t drive anyway, my cars only done 3 miles”
“Yeah yeah ok… so have you understood what the glasses are for now?”
“Is there anyway you can make some glasses that bake the distance closer”
At this point I just ignore him for the sake of my sanity and temper and push him out the door
The next woman in says that she got dubble vision. But only if she has her glasses on and if she has 1 eye shut. To have dubble vision you need two eyes. Unless there is something really wrong with you but that would be all the time, not just with her glasses on.
I phone a colige for advice.
“Be nice to her, she’s and idiot”
What a fucking morning…(so far)
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Mood swings and roundabouts
This weekend was the race day at donnington. We went last year and it was good fun except the getting up a stupid o clock, and then getting stuck in traffic. Also I got blamed for making everyone late last year. Matt over slept and just because I'm userly the one that makes everyone late matt told everyone it was me and they believe him. Well this year matt wanted to go up on the Saturday to watch the qualifying and stuff. I work Saturday, so I said if I get a move on we could get there just in time to see the last bit and he was ok with that. It was around to a few mins before I leave work and I was looking on the website to see if there was a race timetable. When I notice something….. There is no camping.
“Matt what’s the plan then?”
“ohh I thought we’d just wing it”
“Well ok, but what about camping”
“There’s camping there”
“No there isn’t”
“ohh we are screwed then”
“fucking marlollouse”
“millwall?”
“You told him it was next weekend so he’s in fucking Wales”
“ohh”
So before we left Andover we almost came to fisty cuffs. I actually get livid at bad planning. I was almost paralysed with rage. So much so I had to go get some beer of I would have killed him. We got to donnington after a 2 and a bit hour drive. In witch I was grinding me teeth and I had contracted bad gut because I touched the reading tent. I swear I’m allergic to it or something, every time I go near it I void my bowls. When we got there I sort of had a plan in my head, that we’d just put the tent up in the car park, id get really drunk and fall asleep. We may get moaned at in the morning but it’s always easier to get forgiveness than permission. The one flaw in my stupid little hope of a plan was, that we couldn’t actuality get to the car park because the roads where closed. All I can say is I’m not going to slag off sat nav again. We popped in the closed country park, we drove to it and found a campsite. And threw some miracle it wasn’t 100% full. It was about 99.9% full. And we squeezed the tent it. I regaled the others with tales of my misfortune involving excreta. Coming to think of it most of the things that have happened in my life have involved me ingesting, excreting or getting excreted on in some humorous way. Well not evan my beer and sleeping bag that was acquired in 1983 with 15 green shield stamps could keep me warm. And I froze my man boobs or moobs off. Also I noted with mild disbelief that that tent has done 4 or five reading along other trips and it has never had a beer spilt in it, Saturday it had 3. None of witch where mine, spilling beer is a sin. I got woken up my mat. Well I say woken up but to be woken I would have to have been asleep. I was under my coat shivering. We packed up and I took some more Imodium. This I don’t really recommend to anyone but at the time it was the lesser of too evils. I did the only sane thing and carried on drinking. One of Matt’s workmates. Must be about 9 stone and he ate 3 ice creams 3 burgers 2 hot dogs and a ton of other stuff he must have guts like the tardis. The day of raceing was good. We saw a few people fly off the track in clouds of dust and some really good driving. Sitting there on the grass with cheep beer and the screaming hum of the engines off fast cars, made me feel happy. Almost enough to stop wanting to kick matt in the testicals about not sorting out a campsite and his best suggestion about sorting is was “we’re screwed” I saw the F1 car doing dounuts. And the 3.5 ltr formula Renault cars where 5 second slower doing a lap than the f1 car. And the f1 car wasn't even set up for donnington. Honestly its amazing the speed they travel at and accelerate at. On the way home I had pretty muck gone crazy from the heat (beer, Imodium, and bad food) that I was offering girls in near by cars sweeties and jumping over the other guys cars. Basically I was doing a millwall when we used to get stuck in traffic on the way to reading. Its an amazing day out I recommend it. It would be superb if matt had done some fricking planning, but maybe because he didn’t do any planning and it worked out, maybe just maybe that made me enjoy it more.
Apart from the sunstroke I now have
This weekend was the race day at donnington. We went last year and it was good fun except the getting up a stupid o clock, and then getting stuck in traffic. Also I got blamed for making everyone late last year. Matt over slept and just because I'm userly the one that makes everyone late matt told everyone it was me and they believe him. Well this year matt wanted to go up on the Saturday to watch the qualifying and stuff. I work Saturday, so I said if I get a move on we could get there just in time to see the last bit and he was ok with that. It was around to a few mins before I leave work and I was looking on the website to see if there was a race timetable. When I notice something….. There is no camping.
“Matt what’s the plan then?”
“ohh I thought we’d just wing it”
“Well ok, but what about camping”
“There’s camping there”
“No there isn’t”
“ohh we are screwed then”
“fucking marlollouse”
“millwall?”
“You told him it was next weekend so he’s in fucking Wales”
“ohh”
So before we left Andover we almost came to fisty cuffs. I actually get livid at bad planning. I was almost paralysed with rage. So much so I had to go get some beer of I would have killed him. We got to donnington after a 2 and a bit hour drive. In witch I was grinding me teeth and I had contracted bad gut because I touched the reading tent. I swear I’m allergic to it or something, every time I go near it I void my bowls. When we got there I sort of had a plan in my head, that we’d just put the tent up in the car park, id get really drunk and fall asleep. We may get moaned at in the morning but it’s always easier to get forgiveness than permission. The one flaw in my stupid little hope of a plan was, that we couldn’t actuality get to the car park because the roads where closed. All I can say is I’m not going to slag off sat nav again. We popped in the closed country park, we drove to it and found a campsite. And threw some miracle it wasn’t 100% full. It was about 99.9% full. And we squeezed the tent it. I regaled the others with tales of my misfortune involving excreta. Coming to think of it most of the things that have happened in my life have involved me ingesting, excreting or getting excreted on in some humorous way. Well not evan my beer and sleeping bag that was acquired in 1983 with 15 green shield stamps could keep me warm. And I froze my man boobs or moobs off. Also I noted with mild disbelief that that tent has done 4 or five reading along other trips and it has never had a beer spilt in it, Saturday it had 3. None of witch where mine, spilling beer is a sin. I got woken up my mat. Well I say woken up but to be woken I would have to have been asleep. I was under my coat shivering. We packed up and I took some more Imodium. This I don’t really recommend to anyone but at the time it was the lesser of too evils. I did the only sane thing and carried on drinking. One of Matt’s workmates. Must be about 9 stone and he ate 3 ice creams 3 burgers 2 hot dogs and a ton of other stuff he must have guts like the tardis. The day of raceing was good. We saw a few people fly off the track in clouds of dust and some really good driving. Sitting there on the grass with cheep beer and the screaming hum of the engines off fast cars, made me feel happy. Almost enough to stop wanting to kick matt in the testicals about not sorting out a campsite and his best suggestion about sorting is was “we’re screwed” I saw the F1 car doing dounuts. And the 3.5 ltr formula Renault cars where 5 second slower doing a lap than the f1 car. And the f1 car wasn't even set up for donnington. Honestly its amazing the speed they travel at and accelerate at. On the way home I had pretty muck gone crazy from the heat (beer, Imodium, and bad food) that I was offering girls in near by cars sweeties and jumping over the other guys cars. Basically I was doing a millwall when we used to get stuck in traffic on the way to reading. Its an amazing day out I recommend it. It would be superb if matt had done some fricking planning, but maybe because he didn’t do any planning and it worked out, maybe just maybe that made me enjoy it more.
Apart from the sunstroke I now have
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Ruining peoples lives.
On the advice of a few people I know I started a face book thing. This is completely different to my sheeetcannon thing. And on the advise of my attorney I did the compare people thing as “it can ruin peoples lives”. It pops up 2 of your friends and a question and you have to pick one. The questions range from witch one you prefer to travel with, to witch one you’d rather get a bonk on with. All very puerile but quite addictive. The its show you your results where you are in a kind of personality leaderbord. One this that struck me as strange is I failed to win and of the who would you rather kiss me or… lost those every single one. But I fucking own at the who would you rather marry. Yep people want to marry me but no kiss or have bangawang with me. I know its probably down to who I was compared with. If I kept being put up against brad pitt on the kissing front, then sure id expect to loose but I doubt he on facebook. Who are they comparing me with on the marrying front Pavarotti. Its probably down to who the other choice is but I cant help feeling like some people have got me down a safe bet. When everything goes tits up in their life and there a 40 or something lets go grab Harry hes the kind of pussy that’s going to do the washing up when I tell him. I feel like millhouse from the Simpson’s.
On another note I had to tell someone that there eyes are screwed. I didn’t say that I just looked at the forms and she burst into tear and said “why wont anyone tell me what s wrong, all this treatment is useless” I sat in my chair afraid to look up. It was the most uncoftable few minutes of my life. Well I’m going to make whoever has got me a safe bet, stand in, reserve husband have a really uncomfortable few minuets on the honeymoon
On the advice of a few people I know I started a face book thing. This is completely different to my sheeetcannon thing. And on the advise of my attorney I did the compare people thing as “it can ruin peoples lives”. It pops up 2 of your friends and a question and you have to pick one. The questions range from witch one you prefer to travel with, to witch one you’d rather get a bonk on with. All very puerile but quite addictive. The its show you your results where you are in a kind of personality leaderbord. One this that struck me as strange is I failed to win and of the who would you rather kiss me or… lost those every single one. But I fucking own at the who would you rather marry. Yep people want to marry me but no kiss or have bangawang with me. I know its probably down to who I was compared with. If I kept being put up against brad pitt on the kissing front, then sure id expect to loose but I doubt he on facebook. Who are they comparing me with on the marrying front Pavarotti. Its probably down to who the other choice is but I cant help feeling like some people have got me down a safe bet. When everything goes tits up in their life and there a 40 or something lets go grab Harry hes the kind of pussy that’s going to do the washing up when I tell him. I feel like millhouse from the Simpson’s.
On another note I had to tell someone that there eyes are screwed. I didn’t say that I just looked at the forms and she burst into tear and said “why wont anyone tell me what s wrong, all this treatment is useless” I sat in my chair afraid to look up. It was the most uncoftable few minutes of my life. Well I’m going to make whoever has got me a safe bet, stand in, reserve husband have a really uncomfortable few minuets on the honeymoon
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
well since reading i have been taking it easy, wongo seemed shocked but mock drunk i screamed at him telling him it was for the sake of our friendship and that it was tearing us apart and i wanted us to be like it was playing for hours in his room. wongo looked angry and loots of people looked at him. wongo is so homophobic that just the slight mention that he has ever done anything like have a hug sends him into a crazed rage. my favrot of these acasions are:
when chris put his pinis in wongos ear
when millwall grabed wongos crotch
when i point out to him that koppergorge is infact babycham (this hasnt happend yet im waiting for the right time)
the first to almost made me prolaps with laugher.
well 10 days and only 6 units or 6 days and 0 units witch ever way you want to look at it.
its been going with the normal pain, the phantom hangover, consontration problems, and the nighmares.
phantom hangovers are worse that real ones, not just because you feel resentful that you got it from not drink and the fact that you wouldnt have it if you had had some beer. its that its a draining hangover saps your will to get up. on a real hangover you can get up and "cowboy up" and get on with it. phantom ones you cant.
the nighmares are a whealing torment of insacuraty that inspire paranoia and take a morning to shrug off. eveyone keeps saying i look angry. the challange is going to be this weekend when we go to donnington to see the broom broom cars. we are camping. and every time i camp i drink so i can sleep and not notice how fucking cold it is or millwall hand coming over to my side of the tent to queer me up
on a plus ive lost 3-4 lbs
when chris put his pinis in wongos ear
when millwall grabed wongos crotch
when i point out to him that koppergorge is infact babycham (this hasnt happend yet im waiting for the right time)
the first to almost made me prolaps with laugher.
well 10 days and only 6 units or 6 days and 0 units witch ever way you want to look at it.
its been going with the normal pain, the phantom hangover, consontration problems, and the nighmares.
phantom hangovers are worse that real ones, not just because you feel resentful that you got it from not drink and the fact that you wouldnt have it if you had had some beer. its that its a draining hangover saps your will to get up. on a real hangover you can get up and "cowboy up" and get on with it. phantom ones you cant.
the nighmares are a whealing torment of insacuraty that inspire paranoia and take a morning to shrug off. eveyone keeps saying i look angry. the challange is going to be this weekend when we go to donnington to see the broom broom cars. we are camping. and every time i camp i drink so i can sleep and not notice how fucking cold it is or millwall hand coming over to my side of the tent to queer me up
on a plus ive lost 3-4 lbs
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Reading was ball ache
I had a deep sense of foreboding as soon as I heard that the orange car park was closed. They changed it to camping as some bits of fields where muddy. So I had to drive to a farm in the arse end of Oxfordshire just to get parked. The walk about a mile. Ferry across the themes, then set up tent etc. the other thing that made me want to punch a baby was the queue for the ferry. Mean fiddler or festival republic whatever they are called really didn’t organise it well at all. I’m sure there must be some reason why they couldn’t build a bridge. But I'm sure they could have bribed the rivers commission or whoever to do it. 2-hour queue for a 20 second ferry trip. Wankers. They build bridges over the motorway at download and the farnbro air show. And they must easily be tall enough for the biggest of themes boats to go under. Perhaps its something to do with twats jumping off it. Possibly the stupid risk assessment people. I would say “cursed litigation culture” but that would make me a hypocrite as I have sued two people in my time (so far). The festival was around 28 degrees and that is far too fucking hot for me. So I didn’t go anywhere on the Saturday just sat under my freebee umbrella-ella-ealla and drank. Only when I got home I realised I didn’t Evan bother going to the shops in green camp. I didn’t Evan go to the main entrance. I walked around the shops in the arena but in a way I treated it like a stroll round the shops at lunch, not really looking to buy anything, just something to do for a walk. A few people where amazed that I knew where certain camps where and where places where that I hadn’t been to this year. The festival has almost become like a town that hardly changes and you know where everything is. 8th festival in 9 years suppose that’s the way it’s going to be. One thing is there is far less stuff than when I first started going. There was the virgin tea tent, opal fruits tent, n64, bungee jump, vert ramp. there was lost of stuff to do and see, almost seems like a shell of what it once was. There was a fair there and the silent disco. But that just seems to me like stuff for kids. Silent disco is a bit of novelty and fairs I have never liked. I got my festival bad guts and had to stuff myself with Imodium (like normal) also got given a dog that I had to attactch to my belt I chundered on the camp fire after drinking listereen. All the ingredients where there but they didn’t add up to more than the sum of there parts. I know chizz is going to say “ohh its coz I want there stop being a fag, get a ticket” but it just was full of 16 year old emo-chavs. Getting drunk on white lightning well its not Evan that now is it its that pear cider. Witch is actually babyshame, the company rebranded it. so all you people drinking it your drinking babyshame with a different label on it, feeling big and macho now are you in spoons? It’s was also the first reading I have almost ever got in a fight. Some kid tried to push in. but he was pushing in totally the wrong way and he was pushing into a barrier, I pointed this out and he got infort of me and stopped walking. And there was about 200 people behind me and I just waked forwards into him. And he told me to stop pushing and started to walk backwards. As the crowed surged forwards and I touched him again he turned around and pushed me saying I should be ashamed pushing when I was 30. Luckily that’s a little way off. And I have never in the last 20 years been mistaken for being older than I am. The line-ups for kids, its full of kids, it’s not for the festival go’er anymore. The headliners that I suppose where for the festival go’ers had smaller crowds than the likes of fall out boy and shit like that. They evan clashed jimmy eat word and ash. Another year will be the 10th anniversary of my first reading, but it will put me about 10 years older than 80% of the people there. I’m going to need some convincing.
I had a deep sense of foreboding as soon as I heard that the orange car park was closed. They changed it to camping as some bits of fields where muddy. So I had to drive to a farm in the arse end of Oxfordshire just to get parked. The walk about a mile. Ferry across the themes, then set up tent etc. the other thing that made me want to punch a baby was the queue for the ferry. Mean fiddler or festival republic whatever they are called really didn’t organise it well at all. I’m sure there must be some reason why they couldn’t build a bridge. But I'm sure they could have bribed the rivers commission or whoever to do it. 2-hour queue for a 20 second ferry trip. Wankers. They build bridges over the motorway at download and the farnbro air show. And they must easily be tall enough for the biggest of themes boats to go under. Perhaps its something to do with twats jumping off it. Possibly the stupid risk assessment people. I would say “cursed litigation culture” but that would make me a hypocrite as I have sued two people in my time (so far). The festival was around 28 degrees and that is far too fucking hot for me. So I didn’t go anywhere on the Saturday just sat under my freebee umbrella-ella-ealla and drank. Only when I got home I realised I didn’t Evan bother going to the shops in green camp. I didn’t Evan go to the main entrance. I walked around the shops in the arena but in a way I treated it like a stroll round the shops at lunch, not really looking to buy anything, just something to do for a walk. A few people where amazed that I knew where certain camps where and where places where that I hadn’t been to this year. The festival has almost become like a town that hardly changes and you know where everything is. 8th festival in 9 years suppose that’s the way it’s going to be. One thing is there is far less stuff than when I first started going. There was the virgin tea tent, opal fruits tent, n64, bungee jump, vert ramp. there was lost of stuff to do and see, almost seems like a shell of what it once was. There was a fair there and the silent disco. But that just seems to me like stuff for kids. Silent disco is a bit of novelty and fairs I have never liked. I got my festival bad guts and had to stuff myself with Imodium (like normal) also got given a dog that I had to attactch to my belt I chundered on the camp fire after drinking listereen. All the ingredients where there but they didn’t add up to more than the sum of there parts. I know chizz is going to say “ohh its coz I want there stop being a fag, get a ticket” but it just was full of 16 year old emo-chavs. Getting drunk on white lightning well its not Evan that now is it its that pear cider. Witch is actually babyshame, the company rebranded it. so all you people drinking it your drinking babyshame with a different label on it, feeling big and macho now are you in spoons? It’s was also the first reading I have almost ever got in a fight. Some kid tried to push in. but he was pushing in totally the wrong way and he was pushing into a barrier, I pointed this out and he got infort of me and stopped walking. And there was about 200 people behind me and I just waked forwards into him. And he told me to stop pushing and started to walk backwards. As the crowed surged forwards and I touched him again he turned around and pushed me saying I should be ashamed pushing when I was 30. Luckily that’s a little way off. And I have never in the last 20 years been mistaken for being older than I am. The line-ups for kids, its full of kids, it’s not for the festival go’er anymore. The headliners that I suppose where for the festival go’ers had smaller crowds than the likes of fall out boy and shit like that. They evan clashed jimmy eat word and ash. Another year will be the 10th anniversary of my first reading, but it will put me about 10 years older than 80% of the people there. I’m going to need some convincing.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
One thing that happens from time to time is people come in my shop and try on glasses.
“Yeah no shit Harry”
But it’s different
You get people come in and start trying the glasses on the wall to see if the can see through them. Evan though they don’t have any lenses in or have dummy lenses. Then in a strange fashion they pick out a pair they can see better with. Every pair has no power in, and the swear they can see better with a pair but not that pair. And they always seem like they don’t believe me when I tell them that they are just display frames and they need an eye test to determine what lenses we need to make. Then they say so witch are the glasses that are made up for short sightedness. And they never seem to trust me when I tell them there prescription will be almost unique. It’s honestly in the billions. And the more complicated lenses get the higher that number is going to be. Id goes into but it’s boring and complicated so you’ll just have to take my word for it.
Well its reading time again. And it’s the traditional shopping for beer and toothpaste tonight, then off bright and early tomorrow to try to find a camping spot that isn’t 8 foot underwater.
Ill let you know how it goes
“Yeah no shit Harry”
But it’s different
You get people come in and start trying the glasses on the wall to see if the can see through them. Evan though they don’t have any lenses in or have dummy lenses. Then in a strange fashion they pick out a pair they can see better with. Every pair has no power in, and the swear they can see better with a pair but not that pair. And they always seem like they don’t believe me when I tell them that they are just display frames and they need an eye test to determine what lenses we need to make. Then they say so witch are the glasses that are made up for short sightedness. And they never seem to trust me when I tell them there prescription will be almost unique. It’s honestly in the billions. And the more complicated lenses get the higher that number is going to be. Id goes into but it’s boring and complicated so you’ll just have to take my word for it.
Well its reading time again. And it’s the traditional shopping for beer and toothpaste tonight, then off bright and early tomorrow to try to find a camping spot that isn’t 8 foot underwater.
Ill let you know how it goes
Monday, August 20, 2007
The gentle art of making enemies
Well it was busy day Saturday, there was no way I was going to cram it all in. The plan went. Work, then get the stuff I needed to buy in town. See Karen if I could, set up the bbq, run the bar. If it wrapped up in time id do say happy birthday to Katie.
Well I missed out the meeting Karen part and the bbq went extremely well. Problem is I should have gone home then. It drank about 2 bottles of wine. I was at the stage when that would have given me a bit of a hangover but it rude to pitch up to a party without a bottle.
Now I have this almost schizophrenic thing about me. Its like I get my body hijacked when I get drunk. For all intense and purposes lets call me Harry, and drunk me Conroy. Harry is socially awkward doesn’t sware unless in the company of others that except that. Conroy shouts and is not afraid to say anything to anyone. He perticly likes hugging wongo, for some reason wongo hates to be hugged so wont hug back. I’m sure if wongo hugged him it would all stop. At the party I remember pretty much going blind. Everyone talking about beating what and me up and dick I am. And an argument between be and Sarah, wich wongo extremely efficiently sorted out. kudos to him I could barely speek. A power my sister tells me I lost when I got home. She says she was contemplating calling an exorcist. The only reason she didn’t was she thought the devil wouldn’t posess a pissed up bloke with a drawn on comedy mostash and swastika on his for head. I don’t remember how I got this. I’ve also had a funny allergic reaction to the ink. By best guess to how I got this is probably Katie did it. I know how she loves to draw on people, also it’s a curly tash and I know she finds them funny. Other details of the party are gone. The only clues are on my phone, 3 pics of me with my tash. A pick of the girl wongo’s in love with with kitchen utensils in her top. And Katie j with tigger cloths on. My hands have all these nail marks in so it looks like I was fighting a girl. No idea who, how or why. Mother tells me that I said I don’t know where my brother has got to as I fell in the door. My brother wasn’t Evan at the party. And apparently I was sick like in the exorcist.
That drunk causes you to loose days, the day it happened on theres no chance of knowing what happened. Then the next few days your body is healing. Sunday was spent laying in the foetal position shaking and sweating passing in and out of concness. But it takes days for you body to sort out the amount of alcohol in your system. The hangover has the headache of crippling proportions. Then day 2 comes the chest and stomach pains. It feels like a stitch on the left side jus under you ribs. This stabs and twists. Parasetomol has little or no effect.
It at times like this that people utter the immortal words “I' never drinking again” on not going to say that because its reading next week and I have a beer can chariot to build. But after that. I think its time to not let Conroy out for a while and let people meat Harry. Because I have come to realise some people have never met him. If you look and Katies and wongos myspace. 95% of the people on it I have never met sober. I don’t think its possible for them to change what they think of me now, and why should they. Wong has obouly said stuff about me, but hes not said that he was a large contributing factor in the split up of me and toyah. I know I can’t blame him for that but he didn’t help. I started drinking like this after she left. It’s a nasty circle to get caught up in. so time for a break after reading, Conroy’s going away, and you never know I could loose some weight.
How much of a dick am I (the gentle art of making enemy’s part 2)
Seems on my way home I phones a friend and was unable to talk. Just let them listen to me vomit a lot
The said “ohh my good no this is impossible then hung up”
Man I’m suck a good friend
Well it was busy day Saturday, there was no way I was going to cram it all in. The plan went. Work, then get the stuff I needed to buy in town. See Karen if I could, set up the bbq, run the bar. If it wrapped up in time id do say happy birthday to Katie.
Well I missed out the meeting Karen part and the bbq went extremely well. Problem is I should have gone home then. It drank about 2 bottles of wine. I was at the stage when that would have given me a bit of a hangover but it rude to pitch up to a party without a bottle.
Now I have this almost schizophrenic thing about me. Its like I get my body hijacked when I get drunk. For all intense and purposes lets call me Harry, and drunk me Conroy. Harry is socially awkward doesn’t sware unless in the company of others that except that. Conroy shouts and is not afraid to say anything to anyone. He perticly likes hugging wongo, for some reason wongo hates to be hugged so wont hug back. I’m sure if wongo hugged him it would all stop. At the party I remember pretty much going blind. Everyone talking about beating what and me up and dick I am. And an argument between be and Sarah, wich wongo extremely efficiently sorted out. kudos to him I could barely speek. A power my sister tells me I lost when I got home. She says she was contemplating calling an exorcist. The only reason she didn’t was she thought the devil wouldn’t posess a pissed up bloke with a drawn on comedy mostash and swastika on his for head. I don’t remember how I got this. I’ve also had a funny allergic reaction to the ink. By best guess to how I got this is probably Katie did it. I know how she loves to draw on people, also it’s a curly tash and I know she finds them funny. Other details of the party are gone. The only clues are on my phone, 3 pics of me with my tash. A pick of the girl wongo’s in love with with kitchen utensils in her top. And Katie j with tigger cloths on. My hands have all these nail marks in so it looks like I was fighting a girl. No idea who, how or why. Mother tells me that I said I don’t know where my brother has got to as I fell in the door. My brother wasn’t Evan at the party. And apparently I was sick like in the exorcist.
That drunk causes you to loose days, the day it happened on theres no chance of knowing what happened. Then the next few days your body is healing. Sunday was spent laying in the foetal position shaking and sweating passing in and out of concness. But it takes days for you body to sort out the amount of alcohol in your system. The hangover has the headache of crippling proportions. Then day 2 comes the chest and stomach pains. It feels like a stitch on the left side jus under you ribs. This stabs and twists. Parasetomol has little or no effect.
It at times like this that people utter the immortal words “I' never drinking again” on not going to say that because its reading next week and I have a beer can chariot to build. But after that. I think its time to not let Conroy out for a while and let people meat Harry. Because I have come to realise some people have never met him. If you look and Katies and wongos myspace. 95% of the people on it I have never met sober. I don’t think its possible for them to change what they think of me now, and why should they. Wong has obouly said stuff about me, but hes not said that he was a large contributing factor in the split up of me and toyah. I know I can’t blame him for that but he didn’t help. I started drinking like this after she left. It’s a nasty circle to get caught up in. so time for a break after reading, Conroy’s going away, and you never know I could loose some weight.
How much of a dick am I (the gentle art of making enemy’s part 2)
Seems on my way home I phones a friend and was unable to talk. Just let them listen to me vomit a lot
The said “ohh my good no this is impossible then hung up”
Man I’m suck a good friend
Monday, August 06, 2007
Small victories
My diploma thing arrived at the weekend. The good news is that they have put it inline with other educational stuff and it’s now the equivalent of a bachelors with honours. So I was feeling a tad smug.
This weekend was one of many a competition. On Saturday a guy who’s a friend of a friend wanted to play me at golf. And he’s a proper golfer. Lesions handy cap played in competitions. And knows the rules. I have some second had clubs. No lesions. And I made up some extra rules. Like if you get a par you have to ride your club like a hobbyhorse in triumph. Stuff to make the game better. Ill be submitting them to the Ryder cup people soon. Anyway I was expecting a terrific mauling. I have always played to win. I’m not over competitive. I can loose and except it. but I have always played to win. With the exetpting of playing little kids at swingball. I play that to see how many times I can hit them in the head. And playing girlfriends. You have to play to draw. If you win they get in a stop and you never hear the end of it. If you loose the go beaten by a girl and you never hear the end of it. And some things its very hard to draw at. So you have to win and make it look like a fluke. Now I hadn’t played gold since last April. When it was last sunny. So it had been a long time and I knew I was going to be rusty. And I saw the “pro” looking at my strangely as I attempted my swing. I do everything wrong but some how it works. And to cut a long and boring gold story short we drew. I could have won if I hadn't have cocked up the last hole. But that always the way with me. So I was please I held my own against a guy who knew what he was doing.
The next day was karting. I did used to work for a go karting place. But that was when I was at school and collage. And I hadn’t been karting for about 3 years. The guy that organised it worked there and a bloke came with all his own gear and was telling everyone he had his own kart etc. so thi8s time it was too pro. I thought I was going to get hammered. But all I cared about was proving to mat that I can race. Coz I drive a little car he thinks I prefer the company of men. And that coz his cars bigger he’s a better driver and because he’s played F1 games on his computer. Put it this way. Mat shut up pretty quickly after the first 15 mins. When I was second over all. By less than half a second. The guy that worked there as infrount and the guy with his own kart was just behind. The second 15 mins I pulled of a couple of dirty overtakes and at 1 point almost killed mat. As I gave him nowhere to drive apart from into a guy that had crashed. Its was all over and I was still half a second behing and own kart guy was in 3rd. the guy I first said as well that he had given himself the best kart. But I didn’t embarrass my self like matt said I would then afterwards had to admit that I was a better (kart) driver than him. And the guy with his own kart looked shocked that I beat him.
So all in all I was quite pleased with myself
Driving to work a car on the other side of the m-way tyre exploded and it stared to spin out of control at the crash barrier exactly where I would be. Luckily the car stopped at the barrier I’m not shuer how much contact was made. But it did look like it shit a few people up
My diploma thing arrived at the weekend. The good news is that they have put it inline with other educational stuff and it’s now the equivalent of a bachelors with honours. So I was feeling a tad smug.
This weekend was one of many a competition. On Saturday a guy who’s a friend of a friend wanted to play me at golf. And he’s a proper golfer. Lesions handy cap played in competitions. And knows the rules. I have some second had clubs. No lesions. And I made up some extra rules. Like if you get a par you have to ride your club like a hobbyhorse in triumph. Stuff to make the game better. Ill be submitting them to the Ryder cup people soon. Anyway I was expecting a terrific mauling. I have always played to win. I’m not over competitive. I can loose and except it. but I have always played to win. With the exetpting of playing little kids at swingball. I play that to see how many times I can hit them in the head. And playing girlfriends. You have to play to draw. If you win they get in a stop and you never hear the end of it. If you loose the go beaten by a girl and you never hear the end of it. And some things its very hard to draw at. So you have to win and make it look like a fluke. Now I hadn’t played gold since last April. When it was last sunny. So it had been a long time and I knew I was going to be rusty. And I saw the “pro” looking at my strangely as I attempted my swing. I do everything wrong but some how it works. And to cut a long and boring gold story short we drew. I could have won if I hadn't have cocked up the last hole. But that always the way with me. So I was please I held my own against a guy who knew what he was doing.
The next day was karting. I did used to work for a go karting place. But that was when I was at school and collage. And I hadn’t been karting for about 3 years. The guy that organised it worked there and a bloke came with all his own gear and was telling everyone he had his own kart etc. so thi8s time it was too pro. I thought I was going to get hammered. But all I cared about was proving to mat that I can race. Coz I drive a little car he thinks I prefer the company of men. And that coz his cars bigger he’s a better driver and because he’s played F1 games on his computer. Put it this way. Mat shut up pretty quickly after the first 15 mins. When I was second over all. By less than half a second. The guy that worked there as infrount and the guy with his own kart was just behind. The second 15 mins I pulled of a couple of dirty overtakes and at 1 point almost killed mat. As I gave him nowhere to drive apart from into a guy that had crashed. Its was all over and I was still half a second behing and own kart guy was in 3rd. the guy I first said as well that he had given himself the best kart. But I didn’t embarrass my self like matt said I would then afterwards had to admit that I was a better (kart) driver than him. And the guy with his own kart looked shocked that I beat him.
So all in all I was quite pleased with myself
Driving to work a car on the other side of the m-way tyre exploded and it stared to spin out of control at the crash barrier exactly where I would be. Luckily the car stopped at the barrier I’m not shuer how much contact was made. But it did look like it shit a few people up
Thursday, August 02, 2007
blackpool tower
a guy who wrights a much better blog than me called huw was talking about a trip to the tower in portsmouth and it reminded me of my trip to backpool.
his blog... http://www.howshuw.blogspot.com/
my story
i was up the blackpool tower years ago. my gilfriend like torchering me coz im no to good with heights. they have the glass theing and she trotted of and walked on it and called me a wuss. i was standing therelooking and birds flying from the top. when i had only ever seen birds flying from the bottom. it was odd. i couldnt bring myself to walk on it. i stood therelooking waiting. my ex was taunting me. so all i could do was in for a penny in for a pound JUMP ON IT. two foon stomp slap bang in the middle like a kid to scared to get into the swimming pool. it made a much louder bang than i entended. and 1 lady and my ex bouth screamed. then my ex punched me in the face.thats what i got for trying to conqure my fear
a guy who wrights a much better blog than me called huw was talking about a trip to the tower in portsmouth and it reminded me of my trip to backpool.
his blog... http://www.howshuw.blogspot.com/
my story
i was up the blackpool tower years ago. my gilfriend like torchering me coz im no to good with heights. they have the glass theing and she trotted of and walked on it and called me a wuss. i was standing therelooking and birds flying from the top. when i had only ever seen birds flying from the bottom. it was odd. i couldnt bring myself to walk on it. i stood therelooking waiting. my ex was taunting me. so all i could do was in for a penny in for a pound JUMP ON IT. two foon stomp slap bang in the middle like a kid to scared to get into the swimming pool. it made a much louder bang than i entended. and 1 lady and my ex bouth screamed. then my ex punched me in the face.thats what i got for trying to conqure my fear
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