You know its going to be an odd weekend when it starts an you almost run over someone wearing world war 2 pilots goggles,who is walking in the middle of the busy ring road.
Then on the phone to the paintball organiser. (Quote totaly out of context here)
“Conroy I’m thinking of giving you one….. but not the balls”
joy
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
Do they know something I don’t? (wow my 100th blog. still without proofreading or adiquate spelling and gramma)
Blurry eyed I check my email last Friday. 26 new emails. 26 what in the name of Greek buggery? Some bell end sending me junk mail again?. Loads up my in box…….. 20 odd emails about me needing viagra. Ohh joy. DELETED!
About 15 mins later a guy comes in and says package for you…. Is specifically named for me. Not the shop. don’t rember ordering anything ….. hummm..
I open it up. 50 leaflets on hypogonadism. Trust me buy the looks of it that’s not as cool as it sounds. For those of you not in the know. Its about low testosterone and erectile dysfunction. And lets face it erectile dysfunction is not as funny as the name sounds like it should be. It summons up connotations of having this rampaging dong that’s slightly any establishment and drags you around in the vain of quagmire from family guy. Where as in reality your just known by your bitchy disgruntled partner as “Mr. Floppy”. So feeling slightly paranoid and that my maninlyness was being challenged (and lets face it I don’t have that much manliness to challenge) I looked at the questionnaire….
1. do you have decreased libido?
2. do you have a lack of energy?
3. Do you have a decrease in strength and endurance?
4. Have you a lost height?
5. Have you noticed decreased “enjoyment of life”?
6. Are you sad and or grumpy?
7. Are your erections less strong?
8. have you noticed a resent deteration in your ability to play sports?
9. Are you falling asleep after dinner
10. has there been a resent deteration in your work performance?
Yes to questions 1 or 7. or atlest 3 of the other questions your screwed.
1. I dunno…. Everyone thinks im asexual and reproduces by budding or somthing
2. im a lazy git
3. I cant lift a tin of beans or climb stairs
4. im short
5. I hate everything
6. always
7. strong? What the fuck does that mean. I don’t go and hang weights off it or do cock push ups. Or go tie the end to my car and pull it up the drive. What the hell am I supposed to do get a Newton meter and take a weekly average and chart it over the years?
8. yeah im shit
9. yeah coz I feed myself so much I have to lie there like a anaconda digesting the tonne of pig I have just swallowed
10. fuck yes I do as little as possible and hate my customers
well I make that as a yes to pretty much all of them. Maybe is just my hypochondria or is it
now im shit scared if seeing the mrs. And Sunday come around. Hypochondria, performance anxiety tiredness and alcohol didn’t really stack the odds in my little chaps favour. But apparently he was fine. I couldn’t really tell coz I was beaten semi-unconchose and had an orange in my mouth and a plastic bag over my head.
Yeah you think about that whilst eating your cornflakes.
Blurry eyed I check my email last Friday. 26 new emails. 26 what in the name of Greek buggery? Some bell end sending me junk mail again?. Loads up my in box…….. 20 odd emails about me needing viagra. Ohh joy. DELETED!
About 15 mins later a guy comes in and says package for you…. Is specifically named for me. Not the shop. don’t rember ordering anything ….. hummm..
I open it up. 50 leaflets on hypogonadism. Trust me buy the looks of it that’s not as cool as it sounds. For those of you not in the know. Its about low testosterone and erectile dysfunction. And lets face it erectile dysfunction is not as funny as the name sounds like it should be. It summons up connotations of having this rampaging dong that’s slightly any establishment and drags you around in the vain of quagmire from family guy. Where as in reality your just known by your bitchy disgruntled partner as “Mr. Floppy”. So feeling slightly paranoid and that my maninlyness was being challenged (and lets face it I don’t have that much manliness to challenge) I looked at the questionnaire….
1. do you have decreased libido?
2. do you have a lack of energy?
3. Do you have a decrease in strength and endurance?
4. Have you a lost height?
5. Have you noticed decreased “enjoyment of life”?
6. Are you sad and or grumpy?
7. Are your erections less strong?
8. have you noticed a resent deteration in your ability to play sports?
9. Are you falling asleep after dinner
10. has there been a resent deteration in your work performance?
Yes to questions 1 or 7. or atlest 3 of the other questions your screwed.
1. I dunno…. Everyone thinks im asexual and reproduces by budding or somthing
2. im a lazy git
3. I cant lift a tin of beans or climb stairs
4. im short
5. I hate everything
6. always
7. strong? What the fuck does that mean. I don’t go and hang weights off it or do cock push ups. Or go tie the end to my car and pull it up the drive. What the hell am I supposed to do get a Newton meter and take a weekly average and chart it over the years?
8. yeah im shit
9. yeah coz I feed myself so much I have to lie there like a anaconda digesting the tonne of pig I have just swallowed
10. fuck yes I do as little as possible and hate my customers
well I make that as a yes to pretty much all of them. Maybe is just my hypochondria or is it
now im shit scared if seeing the mrs. And Sunday come around. Hypochondria, performance anxiety tiredness and alcohol didn’t really stack the odds in my little chaps favour. But apparently he was fine. I couldn’t really tell coz I was beaten semi-unconchose and had an orange in my mouth and a plastic bag over my head.
Yeah you think about that whilst eating your cornflakes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)