“Are my lenses in yet” “umm no sorry be here tomorrow, ill call you as soon as they arrive” “you have my number but never call me” “really?… let me check. Look at his file. *check phone number* says here your phone numbers wrong” “you keep saying that” “well can you just tell me your number” “look your boss keeps checking it, your receptionist keeps checking it, and now you are you just never call” “well is your number XXXXXX” “yeah corse it is” “ right well there looks like there’s been ….” “just call me alright…”  next day  lenses arrive. I pick up the phone and dial his number “BERR BEE BEE this number you have dialled has not been recognised….” Slam down the phone whilst shouting TWAT. Im gonna have some fun when he come in angry that I haven’t called. Slowly and patronisingly phoning his number on speaker phone and showing him

The woman in boots if obously to used to dealing with to menny retards in this town. I need some more decongestants as I have something stuck in my catarrh. I had a look at the self and all the stuff on there is flu and hay fever based. So its all a decongestent and antihistamine, or decongestant and paracetamol and caffeine etc. so I go up to the counter and say “my doctor has told me to come here for some decongestants but they are not for a flu or hay fever just to clear my ear…..” she interrupts me and starts banging on about how your ears throat and nose are all connected, your sinuses too and evan your tears ducts are connected. So what started as me just trying to buy a decongested with no other crap in it. turned into a patronising anatomy lecture like I was 5, and she even repeated it all twice. As her second run threw is going on, im desperately trying to interrupt her by giving her the money. At then end of her second run threw she looked at me as if to expect a response from me like she had just passed on the secret of life the universe and everything. I simply replied with “yeah I know ta”