“can I have an eye test” “I can book you in but we are full for the rest of the year next date available is 5^th Jan” “not today” “no sorry” “please?” “the optometrist is not here today” “can you do it” “afraid not” “why?” “because im not an optometrist”. “how long does it take?” “the test takes around half an hour” “so we can do that now?” “no as I explained there is no optometrist here today” “its only the HGV test” “well that doesn’t change anything” “I only need the HGV part” “well the HGV normaly ask for a full test and sometimes extra tests depending on the job” “how much?” “a test is £24 pounds” “so if I come back in a bit we do it” “look there isn’t an optometrist in today” “I only need the HGV bit” “do you have the form?” “no” “well all I can do is book you in in the new year” “can I go in and look at the wall?” “no” “please?” “NO” “do specsavers have any tests?” “how should I know?” “coz you work in an opticians” “yeah I do … THIS opticians not specasvers” “so you wont book me with them?” “er????? Wha? No…” so I cant just go in the room over there and have a test” “sorry no bye bye” I usher him out the door

Its on street all day parking in aldershit and the ticket machines are on the pavement backs to the wall faceing the road. So to buy one you have to stand in the middle of the pavement. But the pavement it easily big enough for 3 abreast walking. I get to the machine a few seconds before a middle to old age woman. And because im parking all day its £3.60 and the wife has filled my wallet with 20p’s so I deside to off load them. This woman is standing next to me impatiently. As I get to around the £2 mark she lets out an large sigh, followed by a "tut" and then adjust her posture in an impatient way. Im trying not to pay any attention. My ticket seems to take ages to print and then takes me a few seconds to pick it out of the workings of the machine. And the woman makes an audible “at last” kind of pantomime sigh. I shoot her a thin “good morning you old bat” smile. And go to ticket in my car. I look at the woman to see how longs she takes to use the machine so when I get close I can say something like “printing slow this morning” but no she’s not even used the machine she just carried on walking up the road. Now I know im quite a bit fatter than I was 10 yeas ago. But there was still plenty of room to walk round me!