2009 game awards
As decided by me



The winner of most pointless remake is …..The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena

Re release the first game and tack on some shitty ad on pack and charge lost of money. Should just save your self the money buy grabbing the xbox verson out the bargin bin for £9


The winner of why the hell am I playing this its more addictive and life destroying than crack is… peggle

Bright colours encouraging sounds….. missing meals because you must just finish that last lvl ….


Best remake…… monkey island

Still I think remakes are a bit pointless. But butifly updated graphics and sound. And kept the plot untouched. Pure class


Hardest 1 bullet scrapes passed you and you die of a heart attack so defiantly nor for pussys fps of the year is …….. Operation flashpoint dragon rising.

In hard mode. No save point no hud. Infact nothing helping you at all. Spend 2 hours crawling on your belly. Most likely what id be like in a real war.


Most improved sequel of the year… assassins creed 2.

Took out 90% of the bullshit from the first game, good effort B-

Game that’s labled as a game but its pretty much and add-on pack you pay full price for…. Joint winners , left 4 dead 2 and halo ODST

Left for dead was in the first place an add on to halflife 2 and they made us pay full wack and now they have released a sequel they expect you to pay full wack for again. Halo. Chalks up the win here for making you pay for multiplayer lvls you have already payed for and a single player campain with is fun but short and hence essecaly an add-on pack


Most disappointing plot of the year….. modern warfare 2

The first game was at least grounded in reality. Thins game the “writers” went totally snooker loopy

Most disappointingly short game of the year…. modern warfare 2

I played this game in the hardest difficulty and I wrapped it all up in about 8 hours. If id been playing it in easy. I recon this game would be around 15 mins…. Totally not worth the price especially if you got some of the crazy special addition versions of this game

Worst game of the year that I actually payed for…. WET

Everything that is wrong with games is displayed here. Just bad…. No fun to play at all


And finally best game of the year..... Batman archam asylum.

Need I say more ist got fucking batman in it.

so you think its cold there....... well that ice on the inside of my windows.

Do you know what my problem is …… im too bloody nice.


This happens more and more to me.

Customer comes in, hands me a pair of glasses. And they say they want new lenses in them. When I look at them it turns out they already have exactly what the want in them they have handed me the wrong pair. The others are in a draw at home. The person I s a bit old and forgetful and it terns out they have been wearing their old glasses for a year or more and there brand new ones that have never been warn they think are there old ones. And then they want them brought up to date……. Evan though they already are.

I point out to them they must have another pair at home. Because my orders show that the glasses should be blue not brown, and a totally different size and colour. But they never believe me. Im trying to save them money and they think im lieing. Just because they have been a fool. I can change the lenses for you if you want . but ill be making up exactly the same as already in them.

The latest woman thinks im lie so much shes coming back to talk to my manager.

I know what I should have done. Told her they would be ready in 1 hour. Stick them on my desk. Read the paper, and in 1 hour hand them back and pocket the cash.

But I don’t coz im too bloody nice and ripping of pensioners is not my stile no matter how much they want me to.