Woman walks in. “my opticians is closed” “yeah? Vision express?” “Yeah” “yep they close down” “yes they are closed” “yeah I know” “what should I do” “ well what do you need” “I don’t know” “well are you due a sight test?” “Don’t think so” “are you having and problems” “no” “so………anything I can help you with?” “I don’t know what to do” “right well, nothing really to do if you don’t need a test and your glasses are fine, when you are due a test you can book in here if you like” “ I don’t know what to do because they are closed” “well when you need something you can come back here if you want” “there’s not a lot of opticians now, I though there would be a queue outside” “ queue outside, im not a nhs dentist in the early 2000’s” (she looks at me very confused) “I don’t know what to do” “well when you need an eye test come back and book in and we will sort it all” “what do I do about my opticians being closed?” “nothing” “ohh? Ok?” she leaves

Two nutters . First was not really annoying me other than making me queue for an unessery amount of time . in the bank a bloke had got to the front of the queue and was arguing with a rather confused cashier about his electricity bill. Despite the cashier saying this is a bank we have nothing to do with your electricity bill the guy carried on.

Then getting back to work a guy burst in asking me for “the lowest pillar box red lenses and no butterflies, ive had all that shit, theirs no way you convince be to have butterflies so don’t even bother, just lowest pillar box red, reading down lenses”

Today I have had 2 opportunities to indulge in an old favourite past time of mine. Winding up headhunters. They phone up all load and brash and saying they can get you what ever you want in a job. And basically I systematically go threw giving unexpected answers to there scripted questions until they have to admit that they are wasting there own time.” we have done a secret shop on you shop and you got and exemplary report mentioning you” “secret shop, that’s odd id like to see a copy of this report” “er….. ok” … “so lots of people want to reduce there commute we can offer you places closer to home, how long does it take you to get to work” “nearly a full 2 mins if im walking slow” “wha? Ohh….. How would you feel about working for (name of a chain of shops)?” “would piss me right off.” “ohh well ummm…. Err. Well what would you want to get you to leave there” (they are expecting me to say pay rise) “total professional freedom, no managers, no secret shops, no nonsense compromising my decisions in relation to sorting my patients problems. No set suppliers, ordering and doing what I think is best for the patient. Total professional freedom” “ohhh er….. Ok well can I give you my number” “na you are alright, just send me a copy of you insidious professional shop to look at.”