Some old woman has phoned up claiming that I have sent her a letter demanding she come to the shop and show ID. She angrily exclaimed she has her buss pass and her gas bill, but shes house bound so I will have to wait until her son arrives who’s coming especially from Windsor to pick her up and bring her to the shop. when I tried to explain that that she didn’t need to do that, she got more angry and clamed that the letter said if she doesn’t come down with her ID I would stop her having any NHS treatment, and she needs that because shes going to the hospital next week. I think I managed to convince her not to come. But watch this space

2 nutters

Woman comes in. “I should make an appointment” “ok ill just call up your details” “I don’t really want to book, you don’t have a lot of frames here” (I have 300 on the walls plus stock in draws and out back) “well I umm , have new stock coming in all the time. Also if you know what you want I can order it for you” (she books in after banging on about not having many glasses) “well I hope I don’t need any new glasses coz I don’t want any” (well what dose it fucking matter what I have in stock then?)

Foreign bloke comes in, doesn’t speak great English. “I have lost a goggle” tips out a spec case and a screw has come out of frame and the lens has dropped out. picking it up the sheer geekery and repetition of this kind of repair I know exactly what screw is needed. “I can sort that for you” im back in 30 seconds cleaning the glasses as I walk. “Here we are sir all back in one piece” and had them to him. “No repair?” “They are fixed” “can you no repair?” “its done” “no possible to repair?” “YES they are repaired” “no possible?” “YES you are holding the fixed glasses in your hands they are done!” “ohh…” “Look they are fixed” he puts them back in the case without looking says thank you and walks out.

Im not sure weather he actually knows ive fixed them

I go to the doctors, you get give a number im number 12 and 11 is being seen. Some bloke arrives and gets number 16. As the numbers inbetween mine and his are old people that have all turned up unnecessarily early. The man looks at his number annoyed. Then after 5 mins gets up and shouts loudly at the receptionist “I have lung pain, ive had it 3 days im going to collapse”. A nurse comes out and he says loudly I have lung pain call and ambulance I cant wait ive had it for 2 weeks” can even keep his story strait for 20 seconds. They take him off out back skipping the queue. 15 mins later the receptionist apologises that it must be an emergency and an ambulance may arrive so don’t be alarmed. Another 20 mins later the bloke comes skipping out with a prescription in his hand. No sign of the grim reaper of ambulance crew. Then I get called. “what’s the problem” “I think I have tonsillitis” he pulls a face like how dare you self diagnose “why do you think that?” “ive had a high fever all night, very bad head ache, nausea, dizziness, ache, my glands are up, and my tonsils are a bit of a horror show” “well we”ll see about that” spends 1 nanosecond looking in my mouth. “No its not tonsillitis, you have a sore throat. Not going to give you anything, just take paracetomol” “I am” “carry on then, anything else?” “No” “bye bye”