Electrisaty

Been having some cost problems with the electric. Basicly the key meter I put money on makes it disaper faster than visit to a fair. On a side note way the fuck is the fair called the fair. Coz I don’t know anyone who managed to get one of theose tings over the block that 3 times bigger than the ring and won a can of spectial brew with a tenner stuck to it. the electrisaty meter had fleased me for 100 notes in 30 days. I almost impressed by how little electrisaty I had used and how much it had cost. Just having a bath cost me £3 in electric. And buy the blog before indicated I wasn’t using the heating as that using more money. And littrly changing it to leira and burning it would have kept me warmer and been more cost effective.

So I got the electrisaty bord to come and change the meter (hopeing this would save me money this I wont know for a while)

As customery with all stupid events in my life it involves a wizend old deaf bloke.

There a knock at the dore and there this wizend old bloke, (see told you) and it tooke my about 2 mins to realise he was deaf.

No this is going to be dificlet to wright because the man could hear me when looking at me but not when he was looking away. It was like a 2 ronnies scetch

“im here to swap you meter”
“good stuff this way, its in the cubbard”

the bloke goes in the cubbard

“oh here it is”
“yep…. Would you like a drink?”
“so im changing this for an economy 7 meter am I?”
“I think so. That’s what I need for my night storage heaters isn’t it?
he turns around and has a confused smile on his face
I repeat “economy 7 for night storage heaters”
“yeah much cheeper”
he turns away
“so …. Do you want a drink?”
“yeah………(there is a slight pause and we both begine to talk at the same time)
these key ones cost a fortune
tea? Coffee? Squash

he dosent seem to have notised that I offerd him drinks

he turns around still babbly about the meater

“do you want a drink?”
“ohh no thanks had loads of tea earlier”

at that point the cat come out and starts trying to kick all the stuff out of he tool box

“ohh sorry (I grab the cat… the blokes head is in the cobbard) you ok with cats not elergit or anything.”
“this woman made me 4 cups of tea earlier”
“ohh right…. That’s a lot…. Umm you ok with the cat?”
“some days I get loads of drinks and some days I get none”
“ohh right”
“so… you live on a bit of a building site here don’t you”
“yeah… be good when its done … its going to be a car park”
“I hear it going to be a car park” (NO YOU DON’T FUCKING HEAR DO YOU)
he pop out the cubord

“ohh hello cat…. Ive got 2 myself”

hes thae for 15 mins and everything I say he then brings up about 2 mins after I have said it.

I know this hasn’t really worked well as a blog. but it slightly more intresting than me moaning that im cold

Night. 11:30. My bathroom


I enter. Reflecting on the tasks still for me to do to the new gaff I begin to urinate.

I glance out of the window.

The window is frosted glass

The cogs in my brain turn…

I don’t rember that window being frosted glass…

And its quite a pretty pattern compared to other frosted witndows ive seen

On closer inspection its ice

ON THE FUCKING INSIDE

On joy
As the wife says…… it really is the house that jack built


(on reflection you probubly didnt need to know i was having a wee..... )

Good-bye 2008

This year has gone fast, it only seems like a its lasted a few months. Not 12. It doesn’t seem long ago I did my see 65 days of static in Southampton then Camden. And they opened with a song called good-bye 2007. Now its 2009. 2008 was strange. Lots of deaths and a lot of babies popped out or on their way to clawing there way for people wombs. My facebook friends list is full of people that at school where im never having kids then 10 years later poopin’ ‘em out. Does it seem like 10 years since the end of school?

Well on to 2009. got my new (new to me) maisonette. Ive put the wife in it and got her cat back. No small feat that. If you read my blog in the summer or talked to me I was plagued by the thing but also strangely attached to it. The little shit used to wake me up every day at 4:30amand no matter what I did I couldn’t stop it from doing this or get him from going crazy until around 7:30 where I had to get up and he’d curl up purr contentedly then fall asleep. He also has a lot of strange little cat emotions. Basically he gets revenge if you tell him off. He'll walk over and slowly tip your drink over. Or claw you the sit there with his back to you looking at you out the corner of his eye. He also is unbelievably jellouse. Anyhoo. In the time hes been away hers learnt new tricks for waking me up. Before he just used to jump on me and lick me and kinda head but me. Now hes got evil. He can now make this sound like a baby crying. Witch kind of makes you panic thinking what’s wrong. And hes sitting there looking pleased with himself. But the worst so far is thing trick. He jumps up on you or new to you head. Pokes out his middle claw. Then with all the precision of a surgeon pokes it into the middle of your top lip. Its like how the fuck does he know that your lip is one of the most sensitive places on the human body. Im just dredging that he doesn’t decide shivving you in the eye works better.

Well there’s loads of shit wrong with my new gaff witch im guaranteed to moan about later. Ie the single glazed windows and fuck all heating. This morning there was ice on the windows. Like a car gets iced up. And the fact that the electricity meter is a massive con. And robs me to the tune of £20 a week. More on this later

Happy New Year