A woman comes in and grumpily throws a pair of glasses on the counter infront of me. “they are bent” “ohh ok lets have a look”( I can see they have been sat on or something) “you sold them to me like this” “umm I don’t think we did” is say sort of smiling trying to defuse the mood, I look up her order, they are over 6 years old “im sorry but but they are your glasses that must have been how you sold them” “ma’am they are 6 years old don’t you think you would have noticed that they're where this bent before now” she snorts at me. I go and sort them out. It at this point I notice my old notes about the woman. When I was doing the dispensing, she was refusing to have 2 lenses. Because “she doesn’t use the other eye” so she wanted a brand new pair of glasses with only one lens in. I managed to persuade her that 2 lenses in the glasses where necessary and she grudgingly agreed. Then she decided she wanted them tinted. But only wanted 1 lens tinted. So she would have one sunglass lens and one clear lens. To save money 

One thing that happens a lot and makes me cosh people.  for some reason or another a parent doesn’t bring the kid to collect the kids glasses. Now that’s not what makes me want to slap them. If the kid were there I would fit the glasses. Because the kids not. There not a lot i can do, so I kinda open the case show that there’s the glasses in it, close it and then hand it to them. This is the part that then annoys me. The open the case take the glasses out and try to try them on. Their kids glasses. They stretch them half onto their head in an attempt to look threw the lenses and then make an oooooooohhhh I can see with them noise. Then look at me like there something wrong with the glasses. (Well there is now they have been stretched wide over them dumb head, and course you can see better with them there not for you)

Bloke walks in, “can you tell me where GU11 is”. (for anyone that doesn’t know that’s pretty much all of Aldershot). “um your standing in it.” (I kinda chuckle, and smile but the bloke look serous) “someone told me this was gu12” “no your in gu11 at the moment , im not sure but it dose change to gu12 the other side of the train track someware” (I look in his hand and hes holding a piece of paper with gu11 written on it and a train ticket). “they told me they where at gu11” “well gu11 im guessing is probably 5 square miles” “they told me it was 30 mins walk from the train station” “well yeah.did they give you any more info than just the first part of a post code like a road or there name” “no, so do you know where it is?” “I know here gu11 is. But I have no idea where you wanna go. Im guessing it could be anyware in a 1 mile radius” “ohh” and he walks out

On 4^th may some bloke came in trying to “sell” credit cards services. And wanted to see our bank statements, I told him to do one. One think I left out was that he asked me who my terminal was with. And I told him the company and he told me that they didn’t exist. And a boring conversation ensued with him telling me that he’s never herd of them so the don’t exist. And me saying well the must do coz that’s who we have a contract with. I filed his business card in the bin (coz that was proof he was genuine and thus ok to look at the bank statements). Anyway the phone rings. “Hello im from what ever then name of the company is. I saw you owner 3 month ago and he said to call so he could sign up with us”.  “umm you came in 10 days ago” “no I spoke to the owner 3 months ago” “hang on,(I fish his card out of the waste paper bin under my desk …. Yeah I haven’t emptied it) is your name XXXXX XXXX?” shocked he says “yes that’s me… but I haven’t been there before” “apart from the 4^th when you where here telling me that the company I use don’t excist” “ well the don’t, ive never herd of them” “look im not going into all this again” “well I don’t know who they are but I can defiantly save you over £8000.” “if you think that the company don’t excist who can you possibly know what you can save us?” “umm well can I come in and see you bank statements” “no you bloody cant! Im hanging up now bye bye” “wait….” Ive slammed the phone down

Not a brilliant start to my working day. Someone had left a mug out. So I went to put it back into the cupboard. The shelf is at least at head height for a shorty like me. So on lifting the mug and flipping it over, it was some how in the perfect position to thow the water that had been left into it strait into the armpit of my shirt. I can tell you it’s not a good look

Just had some bloke come in and as for some glasses that have the lenses tinted only half was across the lenses. So clear on the left, black on the right. So that the black is covering the lights for on coming traffic. “umm wont that be a bit dangerous, like wareing blinkers. Stopping you from seeing anything to your right” “no cos you can turn your head, why dose no one seem to do them?” well my photo shop mock up….. This berk will probably be on dragons den soon

Bloke walks in and starts scanning the frames. “can I help you?” he ignores me so I walk up “CAN I help you?” “umm do you have and wrap around glasses” “sun glasses or ophthalmic?” “what?” “sun glasses or normal glasses” “ohh normal” “are the for a prescription?” “yes” “well can I see the prescription then” “ohh ok” “right this is just for some normal reading glasses, so a wrap around frame would not be the best choice” “how come?” “ well your prescription lens is to made up with 3 very accurately worked curves, their radius for curvature is to be worked to 100^th of a millimetre. To make the thinnest flattest best form lens possible, ensuring the best optical quality and performance. To do that with a wrap around pair, you are working with and already curved surface. So working those curves on is going to make a much thicker lens and a flatter lens is better. There are lenses on the market that are designed to reduce the distortions caused by the curves and thin the lenses but the cost is 2 to 3 times what a normal lens costs.” “what?” if you want a wrap pair then lenses will cost more and not work as well as normal pair” “ohh…(he stands there for a bit) can I have sunglasses?” “you can. Is that a different thing to these readers?” “no its just sunglasses are wrap” “right, you can have what ever you want, all im saying is that lenses into ANY wrap frame in that prescription will cos more and not be as good, so if you what to spend the money I’m willing to do it” “umm” “when you look threw a window there is very little distortion that is because the glass is flat, if you look threw a goldfish bowl there’s lots of distortion, because it is curved” “can I use my own sunglasses? I use them for riding my bike” “you can if you want, but that means you won’t be able to use them on your bike anymore” “why?” “ coz they will be made up to your reading prescription with no tint” “I don’t understand” “right forget your own sunglasses keep them as they are, in short. All you need a normal frame, with normal lenses. What you want will cost many times more” “this is complicated isn’t it” “not really, £70 pair perfect for your needs, £400 pair wont work as well” “I still don’t understand, this is complicated” “£70 pair ideal, what you want £400 and not as good” “im gonna have to go and try and work all this out”

Some bloke just walks in wearing a wax jacket. And says hes selling credit card services, and that they buy the shops contract off the bank ect. (seems to be similar thing to phone companies buying your contract with BT) “im sorry you’d have to speak to the owner about that and he not here” “can I see one of your statements from the bank?” “umm no, this is a matter for the owner” “here is my card so that proves im genuine, so can I see a bank statement?” “No you cannot, ill pass your card to the owner(‘s bin)”

How the hell does a business card prove you are “genuine” I think ill get 100 printed up saying 20 pound note inspector from the royal mint, and go round into shops asking to take away notes for “checking”. “Here’s a 1p business card I got printed at a motorway service station so that proves im genuine”

Some ozzy or kiwi bloke comes in, “g’day mate (see that’s what gave it away) you wanna go paintballing?” “I infact go quite a lot I have all my own gear” “you play at our sites? Delta force” “I have done, but I mainly play at holmbush as they do really good walk on rates” “yeah that’s one of our sites” “no its not” “you sure? Well wanna come back and play at out sites we have crashed planes” “well as I said the best deal about for walk-on players is holmbush or a super 6 weekend event” “what’s that?” “well super six host the tippman challenge” “what?” “you have herd of  tippmann?” “I’ve not been in this country long mate” “well tippman is probably the biggest world wide makers of paintball markers” “ohh” “and the host events in different countries big games 800 player at once” “ohh right” “well our sites are the best” “like I said I can get better value for walk on events . its £45 and I get 2000 shots” “well our sites are £6 and ill give you guys 1000 shots.” “that book your trying to sell has 10 tickets in” “yeah” ” so you buy it for £60 and take 10 people and ill give you 1000 shots” “so broken down that’s £6 for 100 shots, and how much is extra shots £6 for 100” “so if each of us use 1000 that’s £60 each?” “Yeah suppose” “so how is that a better deal than £45 for 2000” (he deflects) “our sites are based on modern warfare” “that great, but as I have pointed out its £15 more and half as much ammo” “delta force is the better deal” “not by my maths mate, good day” “our sites are better coz its only £6 for the day” “yeah but with bugger all ammo”