flu jab
got a bit of cold on at the moment so it seems slightly topical that i noticed this
http://your.asda.com/2009/9/22/asda-offers-uk-s-lowest-price-seasonal-flu-jab
if you dont want to read or click in the link its about that adsa are doing the flu jab for £8
ASDA! holy fuck whats next the tesco maternaty and gallstone unit
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Knock at the door
A blurry eye me opens it to meet a person in BBC news uniform
“Alright?”
“Hello sir can I interview you for BBC news?”
“Umm what for?”
“He looks at me a bit strange “the explosion! ……in sainsbrys”
I look over his shoulder at sainsbrys its less that 60 yards away from my front door, and I have been in all most of the day and the time I was out I was in sainsbrys…. I notice the store is covered in do not cross tape. i can see tv crews and jornolists. My face obously looks I tiny bit surprised
“you don’t know about it then?”
“umm no”
“Well it looks like a coffee machine exploded around 17 people are injured and 6 or so have been take to hospital”
“ohh bloody hell”
“so you have you not been here all day?”
“umm yeah ive been here”
“and you didn’t see or hear anything?”
“umm no… you see halo reach cam out today and I have had the surround sound up quite loud… lots of explosions…” (I trail off as he looking at me with a disapproving and saddened expression)
“yeah… ok thanks sir” he says slightly sarcastically but mainly with pity
A blurry eye me opens it to meet a person in BBC news uniform
“Alright?”
“Hello sir can I interview you for BBC news?”
“Umm what for?”
“He looks at me a bit strange “the explosion! ……in sainsbrys”
I look over his shoulder at sainsbrys its less that 60 yards away from my front door, and I have been in all most of the day and the time I was out I was in sainsbrys…. I notice the store is covered in do not cross tape. i can see tv crews and jornolists. My face obously looks I tiny bit surprised
“you don’t know about it then?”
“umm no”
“Well it looks like a coffee machine exploded around 17 people are injured and 6 or so have been take to hospital”
“ohh bloody hell”
“so you have you not been here all day?”
“umm yeah ive been here”
“and you didn’t see or hear anything?”
“umm no… you see halo reach cam out today and I have had the surround sound up quite loud… lots of explosions…” (I trail off as he looking at me with a disapproving and saddened expression)
“yeah… ok thanks sir” he says slightly sarcastically but mainly with pity
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Ive got some Oakley x metal julets to fix. They are the massively expensive ones from mission imposable 2
And for some reason who ever designed them desided they shouldn’t have normal screws. The have torx or tourge screws precisely in the T6 screw.
I phone Oakley. On no we don’t supply the screwdrivers. A hardware store or electronics store will sell it.
Great so I have to go buy one just to fix some glasses.
I go into Farnborough hardware and have a bit of a look. Lots of screwdriver sets. But I cant see one with a T6 I can see a T7 and a T8 but no T6. I wait for the woman to stop having an argument about a refund for a scented candle. Then ask
“ ‘scuse me do do you sell T6 torx screwdrivers?”
the woman dose the largest pantomime shrug I have ever seen out side a pantomime and expels air from her mouth with some spit “pppppFFFFtttt”
“look I dunno I just sell stuff…..cant you find one on the self?”
“well no that’s why im asking if you have them”
she starts to look massively inconvenienced “so you can see one on the self?”
“no I cant”
“what about this!” she picks up the first kit she sees and hands it to me.
“no that doesn’t have one it, that’s for wood work mainly”
“whats it for?”
“well it’s a T6 so its used in electrical and some silly makes of glasses”
“is it for a phone?”
“no its not….. but phones probably have them. I can find a T7 and a T8 here but what I need is a T6 do you even know if you sell them?”
“whats it for?”
“well I have a pair of glasses to fix”
“WELL HERE THEN this is what you need” in even more pantomime stile she theatrically picks up a screwdriver kit and pushes it into my hand and looks at me like im a retard.
“ummmm…. This is a kit with a flat head screwdriver in and a glasses hanging cord for round your neck and some spare assorted screws….. its doesn’t contain the screwdriver I want to buy” I put it back on the self
“why are you in here? Take it to an optician”
“I am an optician……DON’T WORRY I’LL GO TO MAPLINS”
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Refund
A man walks in
“hello how can I help you?”
“I want a refund”
“ohh right… what for”
“a sight test”
“you want a refund for a sight test?”
“you owe me £24 plus the cost of a voucher”
“umm… let me just get your record out….. its says here sir you haven’t had a test or any glasses from us since 2007”
“yes”
“I don’t think I understand you sir”
“well I got a letter saying a was on income support so you owe me…..”
“sir if you where on income support at the time we would have checked your entitlement letter and made sure you got what you where entitled to…. Infact here is a had written note from my boss saying you failed to produce any proof of benefits you where receive so you where not entitled to anything”
“well im on benefits so I want my money back”
“you want your money back of a sight test and glasses you had over 3 years ago?”
“yes”
“well technically you need to try to claim your money back from the nhs… and im sorry to tell you this but I wouldn’t hold up much hope. The system has changed as has the entitlements. And it was over 3 years ago. If it was 3 weeks ago you may have some luck but 3 years…”
“so your not going to give me the money”
“umm no. it’s the ns you need to speak to and I really don’t think you’ll get any money back. Look you are due an new test now and it will be on the nhs so why don’t you have a new one and then if you need a change of prescription they will raise a voucher and that will pay for your lenses so you will be up to date.”
“No I want a refund from you”
“well sir that just not possible as I have not supplied you with anything faulty or returnable. Ill phone the nhs for you and see what they will do”
“go on then”
bring bring
“nhs PCT”
“hello I have a patient that wishes to claim back the cost of there eye exam and the value of a optical voucher”
the woman loudly sighs then asks the customers name and details…
“what was the date of the test?”
“2007”
“what?”
“umm yeah the test was 2007”
“ HAHAHAHAHA….. you have a nutter with you don’t you… tell them to have a new test and a voucher”
Complaint about my attitude
Bloke comes in for a sight test
“hello mr.XXXXX for the 10:20 appointment?”
“where’s the woman”
“what the receptionist?”
“yeah the woman whos here”
“well shes not here today its her day off”
“ohh”
“anyway if you’d like to take a seat in the waiting area the optometrist will be with you in a few mins”
he walks of grubleing, has his test and im handed the results and he sits down at my desk
“right well it looks like there’s been a bit of change to your eyes since we last saw you 2 years ago and we can make you see quite I bit better for distance and reading than you are seeing at the moment”
“right?”
“well yes. As im sure the optometrist explained you would benefit from new glasses”
“oh ok” he says like its news to him. But written on the notes word for word is “told customer would benefit from new glasses”
“Would you like to order some today sir?”
“suppose”
“well for the last 10 years you have been having something from our budget range its £70 for the frame and lenses. Or you can have something from a more expensive range but you have had the budget range for the last 10 years and that is sufficient for your needs”
“so whens the woman back”
“she only works 3 days a week and shes back after the weekend…. So do you want to something form the £70 range”
“how much do I have to pay?”
“well it depends what you pick… but you have always had something from the £70 range and that ok for your new prescription”
“so what do I have to pay?”
“well if you pick the £70 range…” he cuts me off
“what does it COST?”
“well £70”
“so what do I have to pay?”
“well if you want something from the £70 range…£70”
“SO WHAT DO I HAVE TO PAY?”
“£70”
“I’m not paying that” in those 4 words before he has uttered the word “that” he is out the door
I think to my self what and odd bloke. The optometrist comes out and says that MR.XXXX was a really odd bloke kept asking about the receptionist.
Now hes come in complaining about me to the owner saying he didn’t like my attitude and that I told him he had to pay £70 and I dint explain what for
I hope the owner says “£70 for glasses you silly cunt ….and leave our receptionist alone”
A man walks in
“hello how can I help you?”
“I want a refund”
“ohh right… what for”
“a sight test”
“you want a refund for a sight test?”
“you owe me £24 plus the cost of a voucher”
“umm… let me just get your record out….. its says here sir you haven’t had a test or any glasses from us since 2007”
“yes”
“I don’t think I understand you sir”
“well I got a letter saying a was on income support so you owe me…..”
“sir if you where on income support at the time we would have checked your entitlement letter and made sure you got what you where entitled to…. Infact here is a had written note from my boss saying you failed to produce any proof of benefits you where receive so you where not entitled to anything”
“well im on benefits so I want my money back”
“you want your money back of a sight test and glasses you had over 3 years ago?”
“yes”
“well technically you need to try to claim your money back from the nhs… and im sorry to tell you this but I wouldn’t hold up much hope. The system has changed as has the entitlements. And it was over 3 years ago. If it was 3 weeks ago you may have some luck but 3 years…”
“so your not going to give me the money”
“umm no. it’s the ns you need to speak to and I really don’t think you’ll get any money back. Look you are due an new test now and it will be on the nhs so why don’t you have a new one and then if you need a change of prescription they will raise a voucher and that will pay for your lenses so you will be up to date.”
“No I want a refund from you”
“well sir that just not possible as I have not supplied you with anything faulty or returnable. Ill phone the nhs for you and see what they will do”
“go on then”
bring bring
“nhs PCT”
“hello I have a patient that wishes to claim back the cost of there eye exam and the value of a optical voucher”
the woman loudly sighs then asks the customers name and details…
“what was the date of the test?”
“2007”
“what?”
“umm yeah the test was 2007”
“ HAHAHAHAHA….. you have a nutter with you don’t you… tell them to have a new test and a voucher”
Complaint about my attitude
Bloke comes in for a sight test
“hello mr.XXXXX for the 10:20 appointment?”
“where’s the woman”
“what the receptionist?”
“yeah the woman whos here”
“well shes not here today its her day off”
“ohh”
“anyway if you’d like to take a seat in the waiting area the optometrist will be with you in a few mins”
he walks of grubleing, has his test and im handed the results and he sits down at my desk
“right well it looks like there’s been a bit of change to your eyes since we last saw you 2 years ago and we can make you see quite I bit better for distance and reading than you are seeing at the moment”
“right?”
“well yes. As im sure the optometrist explained you would benefit from new glasses”
“oh ok” he says like its news to him. But written on the notes word for word is “told customer would benefit from new glasses”
“Would you like to order some today sir?”
“suppose”
“well for the last 10 years you have been having something from our budget range its £70 for the frame and lenses. Or you can have something from a more expensive range but you have had the budget range for the last 10 years and that is sufficient for your needs”
“so whens the woman back”
“she only works 3 days a week and shes back after the weekend…. So do you want to something form the £70 range”
“how much do I have to pay?”
“well it depends what you pick… but you have always had something from the £70 range and that ok for your new prescription”
“so what do I have to pay?”
“well if you pick the £70 range…” he cuts me off
“what does it COST?”
“well £70”
“so what do I have to pay?”
“well if you want something from the £70 range…£70”
“SO WHAT DO I HAVE TO PAY?”
“£70”
“I’m not paying that” in those 4 words before he has uttered the word “that” he is out the door
I think to my self what and odd bloke. The optometrist comes out and says that MR.XXXX was a really odd bloke kept asking about the receptionist.
Now hes come in complaining about me to the owner saying he didn’t like my attitude and that I told him he had to pay £70 and I dint explain what for
I hope the owner says “£70 for glasses you silly cunt ….and leave our receptionist alone”
Monday, May 24, 2010
Two drunk middle age rough as badgers arse women stagger across the road. The 2 of them using all there power to have the ability to approximate ambulation. The stagger leads them towards my shop door. I start to think negative thoughts. At the last min the chance course in smash into my window. The shout spit and swear loudly for a few mins…
Im screaming in my head wishing I could hate them to death.
Then police woman appears and walks towards them
Beethoven’s ode to joy starts playing in my head
Then when the police woman arrives the drunk women say
“alright sharron?”
“yeah not bad you girlds facny a drink?”
“yeah what time your shift end?”
“in an hour … meet you in the goose”
at this point i lose faith in all humanaty
Im screaming in my head wishing I could hate them to death.
Then police woman appears and walks towards them
Beethoven’s ode to joy starts playing in my head
Then when the police woman arrives the drunk women say
“alright sharron?”
“yeah not bad you girlds facny a drink?”
“yeah what time your shift end?”
“in an hour … meet you in the goose”
at this point i lose faith in all humanaty
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Clash of the titans 3d
Now im not going into the film lets just say it was adequate and that I don’t really like the fact that they remade a classic.
I want to talk about 3d cinema
At this time I haven’t seen avatar. And its not on in the cinema anymore so ill probably see it in 2d on blu ray.
Is a film made better by it being in 3d? I think it makes an average film better in a novelty way.
Now most special effect films with big action scenes , big explosions, dizzying heights ect. The 3d adds scale and makes the film bigger. Because lets face it that’s what the film wants to be BIG. How can you make action film A bigger than action film B. 3D!
But would 3d make truly brilliant films better?
The userwel suspects in 3D?
It’s a wonderful life in 3D?
Reservoir dogs in 3D?
BLADERUNNER IN 3D?
I’m not sure it would. The other factor is those films where not made in 3d where as clash of the titans was made to be in 3d so there where scenes specially put in to wow and amaze in 3d (but not a lot else).
I have an sort of photographic memory7 for films I have scean. I can kinda replay scenes in my head. But thinking about clash of the titans. I cant really rember what bits where in 3D (an interestion point to probably no one but myself)
This things that didn’t work so well. The method used for the 3d was the dolby 3D. with is quite a clever 3d method. It used interference lenses to only allow certain wavelengths of light to each eye. So both eyes are getting all the colours but different wavelengths.
There is one problem with this the fact you loose light. In a dim cinema loosing 20% (im guessing) is quite a lot to loose and I felt that it was like watching tv with my sunglasses on.
Also computer-generated elements of the film worked a lot better than “real” elements. At some points the wrong things seemed to be in focus to me.
A nearer object sticking out of the screen and thus closer to me would be out of focus, the person talking would be in focus. But I had a waking depth out of focus object closer to and I found it a bit off putting.
Also there seemed to be an odd effect with people, they seemed to standing on top of themselves. Very hard to explain this , but when you saw a person in 3d. it looked like they had someone standing behind them because the two angles gave you slightly more than you should be able to see. This as well put me off. And at some points I found myself closing 1 eye until some more computer crash bang wolp came on.
Now im not going into the film lets just say it was adequate and that I don’t really like the fact that they remade a classic.
I want to talk about 3d cinema
At this time I haven’t seen avatar. And its not on in the cinema anymore so ill probably see it in 2d on blu ray.
Is a film made better by it being in 3d? I think it makes an average film better in a novelty way.
Now most special effect films with big action scenes , big explosions, dizzying heights ect. The 3d adds scale and makes the film bigger. Because lets face it that’s what the film wants to be BIG. How can you make action film A bigger than action film B. 3D!
But would 3d make truly brilliant films better?
The userwel suspects in 3D?
It’s a wonderful life in 3D?
Reservoir dogs in 3D?
BLADERUNNER IN 3D?
I’m not sure it would. The other factor is those films where not made in 3d where as clash of the titans was made to be in 3d so there where scenes specially put in to wow and amaze in 3d (but not a lot else).
I have an sort of photographic memory7 for films I have scean. I can kinda replay scenes in my head. But thinking about clash of the titans. I cant really rember what bits where in 3D (an interestion point to probably no one but myself)
This things that didn’t work so well. The method used for the 3d was the dolby 3D. with is quite a clever 3d method. It used interference lenses to only allow certain wavelengths of light to each eye. So both eyes are getting all the colours but different wavelengths.
There is one problem with this the fact you loose light. In a dim cinema loosing 20% (im guessing) is quite a lot to loose and I felt that it was like watching tv with my sunglasses on.
Also computer-generated elements of the film worked a lot better than “real” elements. At some points the wrong things seemed to be in focus to me.
A nearer object sticking out of the screen and thus closer to me would be out of focus, the person talking would be in focus. But I had a waking depth out of focus object closer to and I found it a bit off putting.
Also there seemed to be an odd effect with people, they seemed to standing on top of themselves. Very hard to explain this , but when you saw a person in 3d. it looked like they had someone standing behind them because the two angles gave you slightly more than you should be able to see. This as well put me off. And at some points I found myself closing 1 eye until some more computer crash bang wolp came on.
There are lost of 2d clues to depth perception. If an object is bigger than another object that you know to be the same size you know the bigger is closer. Shadows , and overlapping.
The 3d only adds parallax. This is whaere a closer object moves against the way you are moving and distant objects appear to move in the same direction. An example of this is look out the side window of a car moving , things you pass appear to move in opposite but hills seem to be moving in the same direction (but at a different rate) not the best example there. But im sure you dint come here for a my excellent spelling and a geometric optics lecture.
Now as I have only seen 1 film in 3D. well I have actually seem 3
Creature from the black lagoon. This was with red and green glasses
Some imax cartoon this was with polarized filters
Clash of the titans the Dolby 3d method
Is 3d cinema just a gimmick….. At this stage I have to say I think it is.
I think it can be used for something something that the viewer looses buy watching it on tv….
SPORT!
I think 3d tv sport is the future for this not film. Watching on 2d you loose what you would see by being there. Football, rugby, tennis would all benefit from the view being able to see the positions of things in 3d. I don’t think that would be a gimick
Time will tell
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A women came in my shop. she was elderly and a bit odd and referred to her self in the 3rd person just as much as she didn’t.
And also refered to herself as sainsbury and sainsburys
On the paperwork it was sainsbrys but that paperwork was from someware else
And also refered to herself as sainsbury and sainsburys
On the paperwork it was sainsbrys but that paperwork was from someware else
“so is your name sainsbry or sainsbrys its just you have used both”
she looked at me a little annoyed “its sainsbry”
“right cos on the paperwork its says sainsbrys”
“its sainsbry the same as the shop”
“umm the shop is sainbry’s…..”
“well my names not plural”
“so you name is without the S”
“yes its got an S its sainsbry”
“I was referring to the s at the end”
“there is no s at the end its spelt like the supermarket”
“yeah I was just checking because you have used both”
“so you cant remember my name”
“yes I can rember your name”
“can you call me a taxi…”
“yes ofcorse”
“for mrs sainsbrys going to …….”
Friday, April 16, 2010
2 nutters for you today
One comes in wanting me to look at their nose…… I know that pretty close to your eyes…. But its still not actually your eyes. Thus not really my field of expertise.
The second was a very bad liar.
“hello madam…. You seem to have cancelled you direct debit with us”
“I have never had a direct debit with you”
“Yes you have you have had it for a number of years but you cancelled it in October. So unless you restart it I can continue to supply you with goods”
“oh ok then”
she starts to fill in the form
“umm I don’t know the address of my bank”
“is it the same account as you had the direct debit with us before?”
“No its not it’s a different account”
I scream AHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHAAAAA in my head
I took her about 15 second to forget she had lied to me….. Children standing over a broken vase with bits of it in their hand saying I didn’t do it are better liars than that
One comes in wanting me to look at their nose…… I know that pretty close to your eyes…. But its still not actually your eyes. Thus not really my field of expertise.
The second was a very bad liar.
“hello madam…. You seem to have cancelled you direct debit with us”
“I have never had a direct debit with you”
“Yes you have you have had it for a number of years but you cancelled it in October. So unless you restart it I can continue to supply you with goods”
“oh ok then”
she starts to fill in the form
“umm I don’t know the address of my bank”
“is it the same account as you had the direct debit with us before?”
“No its not it’s a different account”
I scream AHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHAAAAA in my head
I took her about 15 second to forget she had lied to me….. Children standing over a broken vase with bits of it in their hand saying I didn’t do it are better liars than that
Monday, March 01, 2010
Generally feeling a bit rough and feverish. I summoned up the strength to get up and stick the washing on. As I press the on button there’s a loud bang and the washing machine dies in a puff of white smoke than then bleeds stale water all over the floor. Much cursing happens. And its not even a consolation that I now don’t have to do the washing.
I get in the car….. Engine temp water light is on….. That’s not good. Some one in the family says they will have a gander at it. I drive to there with the light stareing me in the face. I stop after a while to let it cool. And the car does a big wee all over the side of the A303. much cursing happens.
The cat also appears to not be in a good mood. Generally trying to wound the wife and me.
I get in the car….. Engine temp water light is on….. That’s not good. Some one in the family says they will have a gander at it. I drive to there with the light stareing me in the face. I stop after a while to let it cool. And the car does a big wee all over the side of the A303. much cursing happens.
The cat also appears to not be in a good mood. Generally trying to wound the wife and me.
Also I don’t recommend norovirus…. It fucking sucks. That’s why I haven’t been doing many updates
also some stupid chaz kid is giveing out my email again thinking its his. all the stupid emo chaves sending me mail and msn requests can cock of. and next time he trys to send me his xbox after its repaired im gonna keep it
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Its amazing how embarrassment makes people lie
Some does something amazingly stupid and its going to cost them they say “I dunno how it got like that”
I seen pairs of glasses that look like they have been walked on by a carnival precession consisting of mainly elephants, and the person puts teher hand on their heart looks me in the eye and says I just opened the case this morning and they where like that. When I sagest that that could be true but they are leaving out the bit where the jumped up and down on then and then put them in the case so that when they open the case this morning the glasses where like it. They tend to get very angry. Because something they did that was stupid is now going to cost them. Most people come in saying that the fell apart over night in the case. And complain that the glasses a faulty and want a new pair.
Today’s bell end didn’t even have the intelligence to lie properly.
“These glasses have fallen apart…. “
“ok… lets have a look”
“thay are soo week”
“ umm… they look like that have been crushed”
“no….. they where just in my pocket”
“in the case?”
“no… and they may have got a little bit squashed”
“so they got crushed in your pocket because they wernt in the case”
“the case breakes them”
“the case …. I thing that designed to protect them when not in use breakes them?”
“yes they are weak glasses.”
“well you crushed them in your pocket”
“well you said they are under guarantee”
“when?”
“when I bought them”
“well yes everything you buy has a guarantee against manufacturing faults but crushing them isn’t a fault…. Its your fault”
“well they are undergarentee and they are weak”
“thay are not garennteed agains you being careless its not a manafaters fault you crusing them. I can get them repaired but you will have to pay for new parts”
“they are under guarantee I paid lots of money for these”
“look it dosnt matter what they cost. If you crused them you crushed them. They would have the same damage, no matter what they cost”
“well im not happy about this”
“(WELL IM NOT HAPPY ABOUT YOU BEING ALIVE) would you like me to send them away to be repaired?”
“go on then….”
Some does something amazingly stupid and its going to cost them they say “I dunno how it got like that”
I seen pairs of glasses that look like they have been walked on by a carnival precession consisting of mainly elephants, and the person puts teher hand on their heart looks me in the eye and says I just opened the case this morning and they where like that. When I sagest that that could be true but they are leaving out the bit where the jumped up and down on then and then put them in the case so that when they open the case this morning the glasses where like it. They tend to get very angry. Because something they did that was stupid is now going to cost them. Most people come in saying that the fell apart over night in the case. And complain that the glasses a faulty and want a new pair.
Today’s bell end didn’t even have the intelligence to lie properly.
“These glasses have fallen apart…. “
“ok… lets have a look”
“thay are soo week”
“ umm… they look like that have been crushed”
“no….. they where just in my pocket”
“in the case?”
“no… and they may have got a little bit squashed”
“so they got crushed in your pocket because they wernt in the case”
“the case breakes them”
“the case …. I thing that designed to protect them when not in use breakes them?”
“yes they are weak glasses.”
“well you crushed them in your pocket”
“well you said they are under guarantee”
“when?”
“when I bought them”
“well yes everything you buy has a guarantee against manufacturing faults but crushing them isn’t a fault…. Its your fault”
“well they are undergarentee and they are weak”
“thay are not garennteed agains you being careless its not a manafaters fault you crusing them. I can get them repaired but you will have to pay for new parts”
“they are under guarantee I paid lots of money for these”
“look it dosnt matter what they cost. If you crused them you crushed them. They would have the same damage, no matter what they cost”
“well im not happy about this”
“(WELL IM NOT HAPPY ABOUT YOU BEING ALIVE) would you like me to send them away to be repaired?”
“go on then….”
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