The gentle art of making enemies


Well it was busy day Saturday, there was no way I was going to cram it all in. The plan went. Work, then get the stuff I needed to buy in town. See Karen if I could, set up the bbq, run the bar. If it wrapped up in time id do say happy birthday to Katie.

Well I missed out the meeting Karen part and the bbq went extremely well. Problem is I should have gone home then. It drank about 2 bottles of wine. I was at the stage when that would have given me a bit of a hangover but it rude to pitch up to a party without a bottle.

Now I have this almost schizophrenic thing about me. Its like I get my body hijacked when I get drunk. For all intense and purposes lets call me Harry, and drunk me Conroy. Harry is socially awkward doesn’t sware unless in the company of others that except that. Conroy shouts and is not afraid to say anything to anyone. He perticly likes hugging wongo, for some reason wongo hates to be hugged so wont hug back. I’m sure if wongo hugged him it would all stop. At the party I remember pretty much going blind. Everyone talking about beating what and me up and dick I am. And an argument between be and Sarah, wich wongo extremely efficiently sorted out. kudos to him I could barely speek. A power my sister tells me I lost when I got home. She says she was contemplating calling an exorcist. The only reason she didn’t was she thought the devil wouldn’t posess a pissed up bloke with a drawn on comedy mostash and swastika on his for head. I don’t remember how I got this. I’ve also had a funny allergic reaction to the ink. By best guess to how I got this is probably Katie did it. I know how she loves to draw on people, also it’s a curly tash and I know she finds them funny. Other details of the party are gone. The only clues are on my phone, 3 pics of me with my tash. A pick of the girl wongo’s in love with with kitchen utensils in her top. And Katie j with tigger cloths on. My hands have all these nail marks in so it looks like I was fighting a girl. No idea who, how or why. Mother tells me that I said I don’t know where my brother has got to as I fell in the door. My brother wasn’t Evan at the party. And apparently I was sick like in the exorcist.

That drunk causes you to loose days, the day it happened on theres no chance of knowing what happened. Then the next few days your body is healing. Sunday was spent laying in the foetal position shaking and sweating passing in and out of concness. But it takes days for you body to sort out the amount of alcohol in your system. The hangover has the headache of crippling proportions. Then day 2 comes the chest and stomach pains. It feels like a stitch on the left side jus under you ribs. This stabs and twists. Parasetomol has little or no effect.

It at times like this that people utter the immortal words “I' never drinking again” on not going to say that because its reading next week and I have a beer can chariot to build. But after that. I think its time to not let Conroy out for a while and let people meat Harry. Because I have come to realise some people have never met him. If you look and Katies and wongos myspace. 95% of the people on it I have never met sober. I don’t think its possible for them to change what they think of me now, and why should they. Wong has obouly said stuff about me, but hes not said that he was a large contributing factor in the split up of me and toyah. I know I can’t blame him for that but he didn’t help. I started drinking like this after she left. It’s a nasty circle to get caught up in. so time for a break after reading, Conroy’s going away, and you never know I could loose some weight.









How much of a dick am I (the gentle art of making enemy’s part 2)



Seems on my way home I phones a friend and was unable to talk. Just let them listen to me vomit a lot

The said “ohh my good no this is impossible then hung up”

Man I’m suck a good friend