“Come on Harry time to get up and go to work”
“eeee…..rrgggg”
“You better leave early there’s a fog on”
“Arse”
“Yeah looks bad”
“Cock it”
“ohh your brother “got” loads of bacon again”
“tut… thieving gypo”
“Well iv cooked loads of it, it’s in the fridge.. Have some for lunch will you”
“Oh so I can be apart of this dastardly crime and eat the evidence”
“Yes Harry, well there's bacon if you want some”
“How’s about you pop some bread and some bacon in a lunch box for me and ill have a bacon sarney for breakfast”
“Ok no problem”
“Thanks mum, ill find you a nice old people home when the time comes”
“tut……”

I get to work open my lunchbox. Expecting cooked bacon to heat up and bread. Instead I find 4 slices of raw bacon,

That home is not going to be so good, and the time is sooner than she thinks