Face book

An old school friend is popping up old pics of my time at harrow way. And they always make me smile. They kind of remind me that school wasn’t as miserable as I remember. Then a picture was posted that stirred a long forgotten memory. I was a picture of the first girl I ever had a “crush on”. I haven’t seen her in possibly 8 years or more and I have pretty much no idea what’s become of her. In the exceedingly unlikely event of her reading this I will not name her and try to keep it as vague as possible as not to cause any embarrassment. But in feeling of butterflies in my tummy came back when I saw a pic of her. It was the same feeling as I used to get when I saw her at school. I find it really strange that an over 10 year old photo can bring back an emotions I haven’t felt in 10 years. At school I remember being high voiced, mal coordinated, nervous and skinny. All that’s changed is ive put on 5 stone. I was pretty much unable to talk to her. One thing though is that she has shaped my life in a major way and probably doesn’t know it. At school I was not found to be dyslexic they only tested me properly at collage. So I was forced into all the bottom groups. Coz most teachers wrote me off as thick. Others knew I had ability but was unable to show it. I hated the bottom gropes, Mostly because m friend where all in the top groups. And there was a bit of debate between teachers witch groups I should be in. I could have been in top science, and top middle maths. But I needed extra help with English in a big way, and as for French. I would have been better dropping it for extra English. I have always been a person to do the minimum of effort for tasks. So confined to the lower groups I didn’t put up to much of a fight. I could see my mates at break. The way the timetable worked out was that I could be in one of a few classes. If you where bottom set. The highest you could be in was middle. And if you where in top set the lowest you could be in was middle. And I had managed to get in the highest gropes I could in science and maths. Meaning I could take the papers at GSCE and the max I could get would be a B. but then came a point when the English teachers where trying to put me in the lowest group. I was in bottom French and other thinks so it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t going to get higher than a C. but they wanted me to do the lower paper where the highest I could get was a D. I knew I was probably going to get a D. the thing was if I was put in this lower group I would no longer be in the same class as the girl I liked. I swapped two hours a week witch was my woodwork class to do more English. I loved word work but if I dint do more English and showed that I could possibly get a C they would drop me down. I started having to try rely hard and just thinking about it now I get the same headache as when I was trying and being really frustrated trying to write what I meant just to keep may marks up and show promise just so I could be in the same class as the girl I liked. This effort in a way taught me to work for things I wanted. Evan if it was just a silly thing. In the end I only got a D. but I was told I was a high D and if I re-took at collage I could get to a C. and I did. When I got to collage I knew that I wanted a C so I got one. I needed that C to get on to every course I have ever done and wouldn’t be an optician now. If I had been put in the bottom group I wouldn’t have learnt to try for something. I defiantly wouldn’t be the person I am. She’ll probably never know how she affected my life and I hope she never does, but today I felt like righting about it