well a dear old friend of my has convinced me to start a blog. im wish its was because hes intressed in what im upto, but basicly its coz the combenation of my hapless life and spelling make him wet himself. so the guildlines that i have come up for my blog are i will not relly spell check, unless i relly cant make a word look like its suposed to. only right about true stuff thats happend to me. fight crime and protect the innosent.


so ill kick things off with the events of last weekend


i was visiting a friend and over the corse of the day we consumed a lot of alcahol. and im get a bit loud when i have had a few glasses of pop. She lives in a student house and a 17 year old waster had moved in and turend the place into a squat in 3 days. he tryed to talk to, but it became very clear that he was off his tits on somthing and didnt know what day of the week it was. he desided to try to have a witt put down banter with me. in shourt i convinced him that its was wednessday and hes was late, he was relly putting carpet in the joint he was rolling, and one of his friends has "fired of some knuckle-children" in his bed. Imature i know but i was pissed and coulnt help myself. and eveyone else thought it was funny. so then it was bed timei asked may mate is she could get me a glass of water as i was a but dehydrated from drink etc. i went of and polished my knashers and got ready for snoozy time. came back in the room and ther was a mug. "thanks mate" GLUG GLUG ....... GLU....... "what the fuck are you doing?!!!" then the taste hits me....... i swallow hard as im about to vomit. "what the hellis that?" "ITS CAREX you loon" i read someware yaer ago that the mix liquid soap with stuff that makes you vomit so kids dont eat it. and basicly that and beer was going to be a challange to keep down. worst of all the loo was next to the adolesent wasters. and id totaly lose my edge vomiting loudly next to them. for anyone who wants to know carex anti-bactral soap tastes like it smells only much stronger.

the next day after a tummy gergling sleep its mothers day and my friends perents vist. its the first time i have met them and they are being usherd into a drug den. so i try to seem polite and chatty to keep there minds of the squaller that there daughter is currently living it. after about an hour they invite me out for a meal with them. i declined as i still want shure weather i was going to be sick or not. so i go home. i sent a txt to my mate thanking her for the fun nightmake a joke about the soap and say im home safe. five mins later my phone beeps "you legend you where talking to my mum for an hour and a half with your flies undone"