My travels …… part 1 getting there

Heathrow terminal 5 is pretty good. From check in to duty free in roughly 10 mins. That what I like in my airports. And but some fortuitous coincidence. Where we checked in was unbelievably close to our gate. Not like the last time I flew and I had to hike 45min across Gatwick. Id been warned that the Canadian customs are funny about what they let you bring in. only 1ltr of your favrote poison. So that 2 cans of larger or 1 bottle Dr. Rutgarts mad dog insanity overproof sipping liquor / engine degreaser. So the choice was easy. Find myself a alcohol mule. Other people I was flying with where now carrying my Smirnoff blue label. 2 weeks away im gonna at least need to ltr of vodka.

9and a half hours, the fast and the furious, star trek, and some episodes of porridge later. I crunched down in Calgary

there waiting for me as some pensioners in golf buggies offering to drive me the 200 yards to the customs desk. Yeah that’s exactly what I need after 9 and a half hours sitting down. A bit more. (Perhaps I was tired and a bit grumpy…. Considering I had wanted to walk out on fast and furious knowing full well I was 35000 up)

“Canadian are the nicest people you could ever meet” was a phrase I had still ringing in my ears from everyone I had ever told I was going to Canada. So as chirpily as I could when I got to the customs desk. I said hello, how are you? to the woman. And she staird at me like id just done a shit on her inkpad. I handed her my passport and my imagation pass and some other bit of paper she wanted. But apparently I handed them to her in the wrong order. And she over drematily shuffled them trying to make as much russling noise as possible. I rolled my eyes up and noticed the big sign listing things you cant bring in to Canada. High up on the list was soil. I wish I had some on me. It would be flying in to that woman’s face. She handed me back my paper work. I too 2 steps and handed it to the bloke standing behind her. She was closer than me. He said "welcome to Canada enjoy your stay"